Do Not Go Where The Path May Lead

We must stop living someone else's idea of what our life should look like. This is our life. If we don't like any of the paths laid down in front of us, we need to blaze our own. We don't have to do things because we think they are expected. We have the right to find our own light and to chase it to the ends of the earth.

We have to search for what makes us feel alive. If you haven't found it yet, don't stop looking. Blazing our own path in life is difficult, but is worth it. What do you want to do? Where do you want to be? What do you see yourself doing in five years? When you look at your daily life, how does it make you feel? These are all questions we need to be asking ourselves and each other, but we rarely do. When we do get asked them (often in job interviews), we have stock answers, but not honest ones.

We are often stuck, not being entirely happy, but not entirely unhappy, either. We are afraid to make changes as we aren't sure what will happen or if our choices will move the needle closer to happy or unhappy. Because of this, we don't do anything. I am here to tell you that this is no way to go through life. We all have to stop freezing with fear and spend more time taking that first step. Once we start moving, we have a better chance of continuing to move.

Discovering your meaning in life is tough. Many people never do, but this is because they constantly search for their meaning along someone else's path. They are convinced they have to do certain things or act in certain ways because of what they have been told. They never summon the courage to follow their own path. We have the ability and the duty to live a life that matters to us. No excuses. No apologies. Blaze a path other people will want to follow. You only get one shot at this life, isn't time to start making it count?

What's The Best That Could Happen?

My dad has embraced Tumblr and posts more than just about anyone else I know. I enjoy following his posts as many are interesting and every now and again, he posts something directed at me. It's an unique and easy way for my dad to give me (and my sisters) advice on life. The latest one was this:

This advice was directed to my sister (who is in her last year of college and has no idea what she wants to do) and me (who is long past college and still has no idea what he wants to do). This is something we should all be taught in school...something all kids should learn. Unfortunately, this is something usually forgotten or not discussed. We spend so much time focused on learning (or usually memorizing, regurgitating and then forgetting) what's in the books or what's going to be on the test that we never really learn how to listen to our heart and intuition.

We live in a society where the most important aspiration anyone can have is being the best. In the media, when they aren't sensationalizing the negative aspects of life, they focus on the rich and famous. In history class, we learn about people who changed the world for the better. We rarely look at their motivations or how they became the central figures they are today; instead we learn how they changed the world with their actions. There is always a disconnect as these are figures from the past, often times dead, who lived in a time we have difficulty relating to. Often, we don't hear about the people making a difference today (unless they are super-wealthy). We aren't taught about the Blake Mycoskie's or the Yvon Chouinard's of the world who follow their heat and inspiration to make money and try to make a difference in the world today. There are many, many other examples out there (Holstee, Liga Masiva, etc.) and most people today, especially the youth, have never heard of them.

As we get older and have more and more bills to pay, it becomes more and more difficult to follow your heart and intuition. There is a gaping void of uncertainty and many of us are afraid to take the leap and face the fear to do what makes us truly happy. With any decision, we always ask "what's the worst that could happen." We picture failing, losing the house, losing a spouse, not being able to provide for the kids...basically, we fear losing our way of life. The flip side (and the side we fail to imagine) is we find something we truly enjoy, something fulfilling and motivating and awe inspiring. We never ask, "what's the best that could happen."

Should we continue to be stressed by punching in and out at a soul numbing job, just to make sure we can keep paying the bills, all the while becoming more and more unhappy? Or should we take the risk of following our heart and intuition and work our asses off to get to the best that could happen?

Regain Control

I have begun to realize that most people’s drug of choice is fear, whether they want it to be or not. Fear runs our lives. We make choices about our future, about our present, about what we are going to do, about what pleases us, about who we are going to commit to, about who we are going to talk to, about how we are going live our lives based on fear. We fear being lonely. We fear rejection. We fear being ostracized. We fear failure.

What do we really have to be afraid of? Everyone fails from time to time. Everyone is rejected from time to time (yes, even those doing the rejecting are also rejected from time to time). We should be afraid of not trying, not doing something new, not talking to someone we may find attractive, not grasping hold of what makes us happy, not taking risks, not dreaming big enough, not rocking the boat. We should be afraid of apathy.

Do something, anything to get past this fear. If you can’t speak to strangers, then force yourself to start. If you are afraid of failure, then force yourself to take a chance on something. Start going after what you want, what you need and what is going to make you happy. Grab hold and run with it. To steal a term from poker, go all in. Will you always get what you want? Not a chance. But the more times you try, the more times you will get what you want. Who knows, that stranger may be your soul-mate. The risk you take may just lead to the start of an amazing life. Rocking the boat may lead you to an even bigger and better boat.

Don’t be content with the status quo. Do something to raise the bar, to make things better. Do anything to have some fun with life. Become the person who consciously makes choices and truly decides how you are going to live. Stop allowing fear to make the choices for you. Stop giving fear control of your life. Stop letting fear have any say in your decisions. It’s time to give fear the boot. Start today. Seriously, what do you have to lose?

"Always do what you are afriad to do." --Ralph Waldo Emerson