Top Five Regrets

What kind of life are you leading?

Will you be lying on your death bed, hopefully many years from now, expressing these same regrets?

What has to happen before we all wake up and realize we have a finite time and we better get started living the life we want to live?

Looking at these five regrets, we know how to get started. Live the life you want to live. Don't let other people tell you what you should be doing. Have fun with it...this is your life to live in any way you choose. Do crazy things. Take risks. Fail often. Have an adventure. Have many adventures. Do the things that scare you. Be true to yourself.

Tell the people you love that you love them. Tell them often. Don't ever stop telling them. Keep these people as close to you as you can. Don't let time or distance or petty difference keep you from remaining close to the people who add value to your life.

The last regret is the hardest. Happiness really is a choice we have to make. We can control how we view the world and how we react to everything happening around us. Give yourself permission to enjoy life, to be happy, to do the things you want to do, to make the life you want to make. You have the ability to do it. Now, you just have to give yourself permission to be happy.

Every second is another chance to change you life into the one you really want. You have the opportunity to leave this life without any of these regrets. What choice will you make? What kind of life are you going to lead?

Be True To Yourself

Most of us will look at this poster and smile or smirk and kind of laugh to ourself and then move on. We won't take it seriously and will assume that Zappa was just being Zappa. But, there is a lot of truth here. I can't tell you the number of times I have heard someone say they were unhappy with something and there was nothing they could do about it. Or, the number of times people just take what they are told as truth and continue on without thinking for themselves.

Seriously? All of us need to wake up and really start thinking for ourselves. We don't need to do what other people have told us to do. We don't have to live someone else's idea of a good life. We don't have to be average. We don't have to take anything as a truth without first questioning it. We don't have to fit in or be liked or give a shit about things other people give a shit about. We don't have to eat the same food or watch TV or like the same books or believe in the same politics or pray to the same gods.

We have a mind and we really need to start using it. What makes you happy might make me miserable. What you love to do might be on my list of things I would never want to do. The ideas I have for living a great life might be completely different then yours. All of these things are okay. The key is to believe in yourself and have the strength to do what you love to do. You have to be able to think for yourself and decide which idea is best for you. You have to have the courage to stand up for what you believe and know not everyone will agree with you.

Just stop living a life that is not yours. If you are unhappy, do what makes you happy. If you don't like the people around you, find new people. When you are told anything, question it before you believe it. Forge your own path and be true to who you are. Don't care what other people think you should do or should be. The only person who has control over your happiness is you. Your heart and mind, not anyone else, already know what you should be doing. Learn to listen to what is inside you instead of what everyone around you says.

The only person who has to live with the life you lead is you. No one else. Other people might think they have your best interests in mind, but they don't. They may not mean to be disingenuous, but unless they support you in everything you do, they are. Believe in yourself. Have faith in your choices. Do what makes you happy. Question everything. Come up with your own ideas and thoughts. Be true to yourself and live the life you were meant to lead.

Be True To Yourself

I have spent most of my life walking along a knife edge, not quite happy, but not quite unhappy. Like most everyone else, I have had my happy times and I have had my sad times. The rest of the time, I was in a stage of discontent, not ever sure of what I was doing or why I was doing it. This discontent stemmed from living my life in ways I thought would please other people instead of living the life I know I should.

As far back as I can remember, I would make decisions I thought other people would want me to make instead of really thinking about what I wanted. I was trying to be a peacekeeper, but often, what I thought other people wanted wasn't actually what they wanted. By trying to please other people, not only was I not pleasing myself, but I wasn't actually pleasing other people, either. I was leading a life of discontent because I forgot (or hadn't learned) the importance of being true to myself and leading the life I needed to live.

You will always have people around you, some trusted and some not, who think they know how you should lead your life. They will tell you the things you need to do to be happy. They will tell you how to be a better spouse or friend or employee or manager or leader or writer or artist or entrepreneur or any other type of person you want to be. They have their opinions and they will be forthcoming with them. Even if they are someone you value or someone who seems to have it all together, you don't always have to take their advice.

This doesn't mean you should ignore everyone. This is your life, so you need to live it in a way that makes you happy. We are all very different people with very different motivations and goals and dreams and beliefs and thoughts. One person's road to happiness will be a road to despair for someone else. Some people can give up family time in a quest for their career goals, but others will be better off giving up the career for the family. Some people will do what they love on the side and others will quit everything in a quest to match their love with money. Some people will plant roots and stay in one place, others will become nomads and move from place to place searching for something, even if they aren't sure what that something is. Some people will have careers and others will have a series of jobs and others will do their own thing.

The people around you aren't vindictive or trying to force you off path (in most cases); they have honest intentions and think what works for them will work for you. They don't understand why you don't want to do the things they want to do, but that's okay. Many of these people believe they have your best interests at heart, but they just don't understand how different the two of you are. They are living the life they want (or the life they believe they want) and think you should be living the same type of life.  

You have to be true to the voice inside you, not the one that tries to keep you from doing things that scare you, but the much quieter one who whispers encouragement and keeps pushing you forward. Deep down, we all know what we want to do, most of us just let the voice of fear silence it. The first step towards truly living is to live your life, not the life other people want to live. Listen to the really quiet voice and figure out what is going to make you feel alive. Then go do it. Keep listening to this voice and be true to yourself. For the people who matter in your life, this is what will really make them happy.