Wednesday, May 9, 2012
This has been a long time coming, but today, I quit.
Today, I quit taking things so seriously. Many of the things that frustrate me don't matter. I realize this and I still let them frustrate me. Does it really matter if a car cuts me off or someone gets angry or an employee causes problems or something goes wrong or I make a mistake or the food doesn't turn out right or something doesn't work the way I think it should or someone makes a snide comment or any of the millions of other things I let frustrate me? No. So, starting today, I am not going to let you bother me. Life is meant to be spent laughing and being happy and not taking things so damn seriously all the time.
Today, I quit caring what other people think. If I am living my life in the way I see fit, does it really matter what other people think? I am not going to worry what people think about my writing or my tone or what I wear or how I look or what I eat or who I am. I am going to be true to me and live my life in the best way possible. If you don't like anything I am doing, feel free to tell me, but don't get upset when I ignore you. I'm not going to stop listening to the comments and critiques, but I am going to stop worrying about receiving them.
Today, I quit allowing self-doubt to creep in. This is much deeper and much worse than caring what other people think. I am no longer going to listen to the little voice inside my head who says I am not good enough to do something or I shouldn't try something because I could fail or who questions every decision as if it is life or death or who convinces me to procrastinate or who convinces me to fear change. I am going to stop listening to the voice and celebrate the things I am good at and work on the things I am not. If this means I come across as being arrogant sometimes, then so be it (see the paragraph on not caring what other people think).
Today, I quit fearing failure. Why do I fear failure so much? Even the word has a negative connotation, but the truth is, I am going to fail more than I am going to succeed, if I am pushing forward hard enough. Everyone fails at some point in time, but if I take it as a learning experience and not negative, then it becomes a knowledge builder. Building knowledge is a good thing and not something to be feared. I am not going to get it right every time, but if I learn from the mistakes and failures, then I can continue on doing better the next time. As the old saying goes, it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up.
Today, I quit living based on how other people think I should live. I must embrace who I am and live the life I want. I have control over my life. If I decide to quit my job and pay the bills doing something different (like writing), then that's what I will do. If I decide to embrace Minimalism, yet still have a large television, then so be it. If I decide I no longer want the house and the yard and the car and everything I currently have, then I will get rid of them. The only person who can decide how I live my life is me (and Leila gets input since it is her life, too). I don't need to embrace the American Dream or any other dream I don't think applies to me. I can choose to live the life I want to live.
Today, I quit putting things off. There are a lot of items on my to-do list that keep getting pushed to the back burner and I am tired of it. I want to do a lot and I have to start now. No longer will I allow the excuses of not having enough time or not having enough money stop me from doing what I want to do. If I need more time, then I will find more time. If I need more money, then I will make more money. I don't want to lose the chance to do some amazing things in my life and create the memories I will look back at when I am on my death bed. Today, I will start working on the items I need to accomplish to make my life the life I want.
Today, I quit. Won't you join me?