Friday, November 30, 2012

Change Happens


Change happens.  It's all around us...things are constantly changing every day. From small, imperceptible changes to monumental changes you can't help but notice, everything around us is in a constant state of change. Yet, we are terrified of change.

Wouldn't it be better to embrace, invite and chase change instead of fighting like hell against it?

What would happen if we just acknowledged that some change is going to be difficult, but we are just going to roll with it the best we can?

How would we feel differently if we were actively facilitating many of the changes happening in our life? Would they be less scary if we were part of the cause?

Change happens and is going to continue to happen every day. How are you going to react?

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Stop Talking


Sooner or later, we all have to shut up and get to work.

Talking without doing does nothing but stroke our ego. How much better would the world be if we stopped talking about doing great things and just started doing them? What have you been talking about doing and haven't gotten around to actually doing? What's stopping you from getting started today?

Don't let anything hold you back. If you repeatedly talk about something, it is worth doing. Right now is the perfect time to stop talking and start doing.

"Doing leads more surely to talking than talking to doing."
                                                                   -Vance Havner

Monday, November 26, 2012

Negative People


This can be really hard. We all have friends, family or coworkers who are negative and always seem to pull us down when we least expect it. We have to get better at ignoring them. We are only capable of doing what we believe we can do and negativity causes us to aim low. The more negative people you find around you, the lower you will aim.

This life is going to be difficult enough without them. We are going to have challenges and difficulties and problems, but we don't want to add to these because of the people in our life. If you look around and realize you may be one of the negative people, work on changing your outlook. Coach, don't criticize. Motivate, don't complain. Come up with new ideas, don't point out how everything won't work. Figure out what can still be done, don't point out what you already did.

 If people are unable or unwilling to be more positive, then you need to cut them out of your life. This can be really difficult as it may mean spending less time with family, quitting a job or moving on from someone you care about. The negative people only serve to hold you back. Once you find more positive people, you will see how their attitudes and behaviors help to lift you up.

There will be times in this life where we have to make some difficult choices...what's important to you?

Friday, November 23, 2012

Give Thanks All Year Long


On the day after Thanksgiving (at least here in the US), it's hard not to be grateful for everything you have in your life. Many of us had the opportunity to spend time with some of the people we love and this morning we wake up giving thanks for the many things we have in our life. What if we felt and acknowledged this amount of gratitude every single day, instead of just occasionally throughout year? How would this change the way we lived our lives?

Why not try it out for the next month? Every morning when you wake up, make it a point to think of one thing for which you give thanks. Every night, right before you fall asleep, think about one think for which you are grateful that happened in your day. Super easy, right? This should take very little extra time each day, maybe only 30 seconds to a minute. Start and finish each day being grateful and see if it makes a difference in your life. If it doesn't, then you have only lost, at most, 30 minutes of time in your month.

If it does make a positive impact in your life, isn't spending one minute a day a great trade-off?


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Eyes To The Front


Every morning, we need to wake up, take a deep breath and start again. Learn from yesterday, but don't relive it. You have the ability to forgive yourself for the things you did in the past. There is no point in dwelling on them, move on. Each day is an opportunity to help create a new and better world, but we can't do it if we are constantly living in the past.

This life flies by quickly. I know I would rather live each day looking forward instead of thinking about what could have been or how I messed something up in the past. You can only look one way at a time...if you are looking back at what you have done, there is no way you can focus on the future. We can't change the past, but we do have some control over what is to come. Focus on what can be, not what was.

We need to extend these thoughts to the people around us, too. Don't hold grudges and remain angry for what someone did in the past. If you keep them in your life, forgive them and move on. Even if the person is no longer in your life because of what they did, forget about it. Dwelling on the past only stops you from pushing towards the future as much as you want.

Life is going to be difficult, but it is a little easier when you focus on what is to come, instead of what has happened. Each day is a fresh start...take a deep breath and keep pushing forward.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Your Comfort Zone


Sure, you can continue to do what you know. You can take no risks and know the outcome of everything you try. You can eat the same foods and go to the same places and do the same things. You can play it safe. You can shy away from the things that scare you.

But, what's the point? How many amazing things have happened to you because you played it safe and didn't take any risks? How many new and interesting people have you met by hanging out in the same places? How many times have you felt really accomplished when your actions are directed by anxiety and fear?

The really good things in life tend to happen when we are out of our comfort zone. We learn and grow and evolve by challenging ourselves and pushing through the anxiety and fears into new places, ones where we aren't perfectly comfortable. In these places, we can have new ideas, meet new people and do any number of things that are interesting and exciting. Anything can happen when you don't know what to expect.

Start small, if you want. Try a new type of food you normally wouldn't try. Go to a gym you have never visited. Strike up a conversation with someone you've never met. Read a book you wouldn't normally read. Attend a networking event you would normally skip. The more and more you do this, the easier it will become.

Once you start doing the little things, you will find yourself pushing more and more. Once you stop letting anxiety and fear dictate your direction, you will find yourself doing more interesting and life-changing things. Would you prefer to live a life where you have a good idea of what is going to happen, with very few ups and downs or do you want to live a life where you aren't sure what is going to happen, but you know there is a chance for something amazing?

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone...isn't it about time you stepped beyond it?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Live Like It Matters

Your life is in your hands, to make of it what you choose. Many of us often think we should be doing something else or making more money or be happier or any number of other things, but we don't do anything to change. We have this one shot at life and instead of doing whatever it takes to make it the life we really want it to be, we spend our time complaining.

What do you really want to do in your life? What do you really want to do with your life? What is stopping you from doing it? Many of us are afraid of change. Complaining is also a lot easier than actually putting in the work to make this the life we want. There are a lot of us who are afraid of failing, too. What happens if we try and can't succeed in having the life we want? Instead of asking this question, why are we not asking what happens if we don't even try?

I think most of us are on the right path and are actually doing a lot of the things we want to do, but we aren't allowing ourselves to be satisfied. We constantly think there needs to be more and better and different. If we stepped back and actually took a look at our life, we would realize we are doing some really great things. This doesn't mean every aspect of life is great, but it does mean that we have more of it together than we thought. It's okay to be proud of what you have done. You can strive to do more and better while being happy with the life you are leading.

When all is said and done, this is your life to lead. You get to choose what path you take and how far you follow it. You get to make the decisions that matter. You get to control how you react to things that happen to and around you. You get to decide to be happy or depressed or motivated or bored or inspired or challenged. You get to decide to fix things or change things or complain about how unfair things are. You get to make your life the life you want. If you don't, you have no one to blame but yourself.

This is your life...start living like it matters.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Self Confidence


Confidence is defined as a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances. Self confidence is defined in a very similar manner as confidence in oneself and in one's powers and abilities. Do you have a feeling or consciousness of your own powers and abilities?

Most of us will say yes, but many of us are lying, at least to a point. Are you where you want to be in life? Do you do the work you really think you should be doing? There are people who can answer both of these questions in the affirmative, but many of us cannot. For those of us who cannot, I know self confidence plays a role in us not being where we want to be or in not doing what we want to do.

How many times have you found a job you thought you would love, but failed to apply because you weren't qualified? How many times have you asked your boss for a raise and made the case for why you deserved one? How many times have you picked up extra tasks at work, not because anyone asked you or because you would be noticed, but because you could learn something new or knew you could do a great job? How many times have you continued to go after a goal when others said it was unreachable? How many times have you done something you thought was impossible? How many times have you given up?

If you are lucky, you will have people around you who have confidence in you, even when your confidence wanes. But, we can't count on this. We need to have the utmost confidence in our powers and abilities. I truly believe we are capable of doing anything. There are always going to be struggles and missteps, but these shouldn't affect our self confidence. Take the struggles and missteps as they come, learn from them and continue to move forward. We have to keep pushing towards our goals and not let the doubts creep in. It will take a lot of hard work, but we'll get there.

You just have to believe in yourself.

Easier said than done, right?

Not if you work on supplanting the doubts with encouragement and belief. When the doubts start to creep in, work on quieting them with encouragement to yourself. Train your mind to know you can do anything and once you start to believe, the doubting thoughts will occur less and less. Be bold. Be confident. Believe you can do anything. Have confidence in yourself and in your powers and abilities.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Scary


Things we fear:
  • moving forward
  • change
  • stepping out of our comfort zone 
  • speaking up 
  • being true to ourselves
  • standing out 
  • not giving up 
  • creating art 
  • doing the work 
  • taking chances 
  • constantly trying to improve 
  • admitting mistakes
  • chasing dreams
  • listening to instinct
  • sharing with the world
  • criticism
  • praise   
  • blazing your own path
  • new ideas
  • difficult conversations
  • failure
  • success

Things we must embrace:
  • moving forward
  • change
  • stepping out of our comfort zone 
  • speaking up 
  • being true to ourselves
  • standing out 
  • not giving up 
  • creating art 
  • doing the work 
  • taking chances 
  • constantly trying to improve 
  • admitting mistakes
  • chasing dreams
  • listening to instinct
  • sharing with the world
  • criticism
  • praise   
  • blazing your own path
  • new ideas
  • difficult conversations
  • failure
  • success

Friday, November 9, 2012

Be A Voice


We're going to try a little experiment today and I'm interested to see how many people respond. What does the picture mean to you? Respond in the comments and let me know your thoughts (I really am interested).

For me, this is a great reminder to be yourself and be comfortable with who you are. You don't have to agree with everyone, but you must have the courage to speak your mind when it is needed. We are unique people and having differing ideas is what fuels us to do more great work. It's okay to follow others, but we don't have to be lockstep. While we may agree with the overarching ideas, we don't have to agree with everything and we don't have to remain silent in our disagreements.

I look forward to hearing from you all and hope this starts an active discussion in the comments.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Never Stop Trying


The great thing is we get another chance each and every day. We may not get everything right every time we try, but we don't fail until we no longer try. Too many times, many think if they don't get it right the first time, then they have failed. This just isn't the case...no one is perfect. We won't get it right the first time, every time. When things don't work, we just have to get up and try again.

It's up to you. You are the only person who controls what you do. Will you keep pushing forward? Will you keep chasing you dreams? Will you blaze your own path? Will you do whatever it takes? Will you believe in yourself? Will you keep trying? You never fail until you stop trying. Never stop trying.

Monday, November 5, 2012

What Questions Will You Ask Yourself


I have written a lot about the importance of finding happiness. People much smarter than me have written hundreds of thousands of words about how to find what makes you happy. There are entire sections in bookstores (what few still exist) on living a happy life. Every day, people look at you and decide if they think you are a happy person. For many of us, we wonder why we aren't happier and read everything we can to figure out how to get to the level of happiness for which we yearn.

Every time I start thinking about why I am not happier, I ask myself some basic questions. What do you do that makes you happy? How much time have you spent doing this lately? How much have you exercised lately? What is keeping you from being as happy as you want? What difficulties are you facing at work or at home that are causing stress? What can you do about them? What do you want to change?

While this may seem like a lot of questions, I think we have to find a way to ask ourselves these questions more. Instead of waiting until our mind starts wondering why we aren't happier, we need to make sure we are making the time to do the things we really enjoy doing. We need to exercise (as I am living proof that all the studies are correct...the more your exercise, the better you feel). We must look at the things that are keeping us from being happy and figure out how to change them or eliminate them. Being honest about the difficulties we are facing is the first step in solving them. It probably won't be easy, but is necessary. Figuring out what to change is also going to be difficult, but if you aren't happy now, then you have to make changes to become happy.

There are some things you can do and control internally to help, too. Stop taking constructive criticism personally. Hell, stop taking any criticism personally. For me at work, I have a hard time doing this. I want to do an amazing job and any time any of my staff aren't doing things they way they should, I take it is a knock on my leadership. I can't do this and be happy about my work. Instead of looking at criticisms as negative, view them instead as a challenge to do better. Don't think of them as being caused by you not being good enough, instead think of them as stepping stones towards greater things.

Stop talking about other people and instead talk to the people. Difficult conversations are just that, difficult to have. But, they are the best way to get everyone on the same page and help to eliminate any future problems or misunderstandings. We owe our friends, loved ones, family and colleagues the respect of discussing any issues with them instead of everyone around them. No difficulties go away though gossip.

Quit focusing on everything at the same time. Nothing leads to unhappiness more quickly than being overwhelmed, stressed out and not reaching deadlines and goals. We all have a lot of things we need to work on and a lot of things screaming for our attention. Focus on fewer tasks at once and get them done to the best of your ability. Then, move on to the next ones. You have to be able to prioritize.

Cut yourself some slack. We are going to make mistakes. We aren't going to reach every goal every time. There is going to be criticism and feedback. Here's a secret...none of us is perfect. We are going to be harder on ourselves than anyone else is. Give yourself some credit and just do the best you can do each and every day.

Will doing all of these things make you as happy as you want to be? Maybe, maybe not, but it will help to lead you in the right direction. What questions are you going to ask yourself today? What harm is there in trying?

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Keep Trying


I want to apologize for missing a scheduled Friday post. You may not have noticed the missing post, but I did. I have a self-imposed schedule for this blog and new posts are supposed to arrive every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. As you can see, there is a missing post for this week.

I could come up with a ton of excuses why there wasn't a post yesterday:

  • I woke up later than I wanted.
  • I had a morning meeting with my new boss, so I couldn't take a little extra time to write.
  • The normal work day spiraled to an 11 hour work day, meaning I got home much later than expected.
  • When I arrived home, one of my dogs was waiting for a bath (which I pushed to Friday as other things came up during the week).
  • After washing the dog, I wanted to eat (as I hadn't eaten a meal through the day, only unhealthy snacks).
  • I had laundry to do since I am going out of town tomorrow.
  • After all of this, I ended up sitting on the couch watching a movie I haven't seen since the 1990's.
As you can see, there are a variety of reasons I didn't get a blog posted yesterday...except, all of these reasons are crap. The real reason I didn't get a blog posted yesterday is because I didn't make the time to post one. I missed a deadline (self-imposed, but a deadline nonetheless) because I chose to not do the work. I did a lot of other things, but just didn't write a blog post.

I'm not going to beat myself up for missing the post, but I can learn a few things from this experience:
  • Habits are important: I recently took two weeks off blogging to go on my honeymoon. Prior to this, I posted every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It took a while for this to become a habit. In the beginning, I had to force myself to stick with these deadlines. Once writing was habitual, it became second nature and I built time in my schedule to write. It only took two weeks to lose this. It will be easier to start it back up, but will take work in the beginning.
  • We have to make the time: We are all busy people. We have lives outside of the things we want to do (especially the things we do for fun). There are a lot of things competing for our limited time. We have to choose what we want to do and then make the time to do it. It's not always going to be easy, but we have to choose each day. I chose to watch a movie instead of writing. Is it the end of the world? Nope, but it did keep me from accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish.
  • We have to prioritize our tasks: There will be days when we have to choose between things we want to accomplish because there is only a finite amount of time each day. Maybe you have to put off the Spanish lesson to run three miles. Maybe you have to put off weights to write. We may not accomplish everything we want to accomplish, but we have to figure out how to accomplish the most important items.
  • Don't beat yourself up: We're all human. I'm not going to dwell on the fact I missed a post yesterday, but I will learn from the experience. I can write the post this morning and still have my three posts for this week. My day got away from me and I chose to do something other than write. It's a new day and I have new choices to make about how to spend my time. I may not get everything accomplished today either, but I can try.
Every one of us has things on our "list" we want to accomplish, but we fail to make the time to accomplish. What's on your list? How much of a priority is it? Do you really want to accomplish it or do you like talking about doing it more than actually doing it? Come up with a list of what you want to do today and then prioritize this list. Make the time to do what is most important for you. If you don't get things done, don't make excuses and don't beat yourself up, just try again. Keep trying until you do.