A Smooth Sea

All too often, when the going gets tough, we quit. Think about it...we live in a society where it is easier to give up than work to do something we want to do. It happens around us every day. How many people are still going to the gym, even though their New Year's resolution was to do just that? We are only 66 days into 2013 and look how many people have already given up.

We give up on relationships and friendships and marriages and losing weight and quitting smoking and reading and watching less television and exercising and volunteering and learning languages and going back to school and cooking more and applying for new jobs and changing careers and saving money and organizing and cleaning and honesty and drinking less and doing more and writing and creating and anything else we claim we want.

Lean into the pain. Embrace frustration and difficulty. Cope with stress. Enjoy the challenge. Just don't quit as soon as the going gets tough. There will still be times you should move beyond whatever you are doing, but the reasons should be more and better than it being tough.

The difficult things are usually the most important in life.

Tough Days

Some days are just going to be tougher than others. It matters how you handle these difficulties.

No one cares what you can get done when things are going well and everything is lined up for you. People will notice what you can get done when the shit hits the fan, nothing is working properly, everyone is under pressure, the tension is palpable and everyone wants to run away and hide. What you do during these moments really defines who you are. The tough days make us the people we are.

Embrace the tough days. You will learn more about yourself when things are tough than you ever will when everything is working properly.

What Matters

It's been a little while since I have written anything. Two weeks ago, I married an amazing woman and we spent our honeymoon in Cahuita, Costa Rica. Today is the first day back in the "real world" and I wish I could say I was excited, but trading the beautiful beaches and amazing weather in Cahuita for the chilly autumn air in Missouri hasn't been the easiest transition.

While I was away, I realized how much I care about things that really don't matter and I don't spend enough time on the things that do matter. We all get so caught up in the day to day life of jobs and worry and stress that we often forget to slow down and enjoy the life we are living. We get up every morning to go to a job that doesn't matter as much as we think it does, do some work (not nearly as much as we could) and then come home, often sitting in front of the television for hours on end.

While doing this, we constantly worry about things that don't matter or we don't have any control over and we allow little things that happen to frustrate us and ruin our mood. We do this day after day. Why? We convince ourselves it's all about the money we make and need (mostly to buy shit we don't really want or need) or the prestige of having the job title we have (or want) or because the work we do matters or because it's what society expects us to do as adults.

I'm not here to say you have to quit your job and do something else or make massive changes in your life. I'm saying we need to take stock of our lives and stop worrying about things that don't matter. We need to stop worrying about things over which we have no control. We need to stop allowing stupid little things to frustrate us all the time. We need to spend more time doing things that really matter to us...spend quality time with the people we love. Spend less time at work and more time taking a break and recharging the batteries you need to do a good job. Don't worry about having so much stuff...I know it is the way of our society, but do you really need that much?

Take a step back, slow down and figure out what really matters the most to you. Then, figure out how to do it more. This doesn't mean you have to make a massive overhaul to your life...it only means you need to realign your priorities. Our lives don't have to be filled with worries and stress and fears and frustrations. We can make the choice to live a different life. What's stopping you?

Stressed and Overwhelmed

We all have days where it feels like the world is plotting against us, when nothing works and if something could go wrong, it does. We quickly become stressed and overwhelmed. This usually just makes things worse because once the stress sets in, we can't seem to make a dent in anything. Our mind starts whirling with everything on our to-do list, but we can't figure out where to start or what to do. We feel like we are drowning in work and will never be able to get back on top of things.

This happens to the best of us. It has happened to all of us in the past and we were able to get control and get things done. We just had to focus and start doing things one at a time. It may seem overwhelming at the time, but looking back, it probably wasn't that bad. It's our reaction in situations like this that makes it so much worse. Instead of allowing the hopeless overwhelming feeling to take hold, slow down and do anything you can to help eliminate the stress. This has been floating around on Tumblr for a while and can help you get through these tough days:

Relax. We have all been there and we will all be there again. Being overwhelmed is not the end of the world and shouldn't ruin your day. Put in the work, focus on the priorities and get as much done as you can. Once you take some deep breaths and slow down that overactive mind, things will become a little clearer and you can work your way out of the pile. Even on the worst days, when the world is plotting against you, remember tomorrow will be a new day. 

The Little Things

I know it's cliche, but the little things in life really do matter. Yes, the big things are wonderful and amazing, but they happen so rarely and the time between them is often so long. When you focus on only the big things, you spend so much time feeling anxious or nervous or stressed or nothing. Slow down and focus on the little things. Take deep breaths and notice the world around you. Notice the people around you. Do something that makes you happy because it makes you happy. Express your love and gratitude to the people who deserve it. Spend some time reading a good book. Listen to music you love.

The little things add up quickly and once you start to notice them, you will also notice the stress, anxiety and nervousness lessen. They will never completely disappear, but when they compete with the joy and happiness the little things bring, they will be easier to ignore. We all want to be a little happier and more fulfilled and by noticing and appreciating the little things, we are well on our way.

Stress and Frustration

Most of us walk though life with so much stress and frustration bottled up that we suffer from it. We are stressed about work and relationships and money and feel frustrated things aren't going the way we want or we aren't doing what we think we should or we just can't seem to get ahead. These are all normal feelings and we aren't alone with these stressors or frustrations. But, we have to find ways to let go of these feelings; we have to find positive outlets to help get rid of them.

Some people use exercise. Some use writing. Some meditate. Some practice yoga. It doesn't matter what you do, you just need to find whatever works for you. Life is too short to carry around all this negative energy bottled up, just waiting to explode. We have to let it go. If we find a release, we will realize most of the frustration and stress are caused by things that shouldn't cause is so much frustration or stress. We will realize things happen every day and the less we let them bother us, the better off we will be.

Start today. The great thing about having the release is you will notice the little things will stop bothering you so much. With less negativity on board, it's easier to ignore the little things; it's easier to focus on big pictures; it's easier to go through life being a little happier and more peaceful. When you don't have a release, the opposite is true. Little things add up and we become frustrated over things we shouldn't. We lose it over things which normally we wouldn't. We all have a way to release the negative, we just have to find what works best. What works for me won't necessarily work for you. Try it...find your release and see how much easier it becomes to not bottle up negativity. Think about how much better your life would be if you weren't carrying the weight of all of these negative emotions with you through each day. Think about how much happier you can be if the little things didn't bother you so much.

What do you do to release and let go of negativity?