Frustration

One thing I think we all constantly struggle with is letting the thoughts and opinions of other people frustrate us. Do you ever have times when it feels as if everyone around you is pointing out all the negatives about the work you do? Do you ever have people who say they want to help you get better but never seem to listen to the reasons why things are the way they are? How do you handle the constant bombardment of negativity? The easiest way to tell if you let other people bother you is to see how often you become frustrated with them.

There will be times when you have a valid reason to be frustrated, but even then, it really isn't worth it. Why become frustrated with someone else when there really isn't anything you can do to change them? There will be times when someone else just doesn't understand, no matter how much they think they do. There will be times when other people just do things differently than we would. There will be times when our best isn't good enough for someone else. There will be times when things just don't work. Becoming frustrated in these cases does no good.

There will be other times when you don't have a valid reason to be frustrated, but become frustrated anyway. There will be times when you let everything else in your life build up and you become frustrated with someone close to you over something stupid. There will be times when you make a mistake that is easily fixed (or even one that isn't easily fixed). There will be times when someone you love makes a simple mistake. There will be lots of times when we want to get frustrated over things that don't really matter, mainly because of other things going on in life. These are times when we really want to eliminate the frustration.

One major problem with frustration is is continues to build. You get frustrated at work because of a variety of things and then traffic sucks and you become more frustrated. When you get home, the stupidest, little thing sets off the frustration again. Maybe it's the way the dishes are in the sink or you left the coffee pot on or you forgot something at work or any number of little things that shouldn't matter. It all starts with becoming frustrated the first time, probably when you feel you have a valid reason to be frustrated and this frustration continue to build to the point where you are getting frustrated over everything.

How do you stop this? How do you develop a way to keep this frustration from getting to you? I'm not an expert as I get frustrated more than I would like, but I do know some things you can try:

• Practice breathing: When you feel like become frustrated, focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath in, hold it, then slowly exhale. Count the breaths you take and focus on nothing but your breathing. This is usually really helpful when you get to the point where you want to explode in frustration. 
• Exercise: Try to get your blood pumping each and every day. Even if it is for just a short period of time, strenuous activity will help to clear your head and put you in a better frame of mind. You can do simple things (jumping jacks, push ups, squats, jumping rope) or more complex things (weights, jogging, yoga, classes). Not only will you burn the energy feeding you frustrations, but the more you work out, the better you will feel about yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the less frustrated you will get. 
• Meditation: This is a difficult one for many people because they picture a monk sitting perfectly still in lotus position for hours on end and think there is no way they can do it. Meditation doesn't have to be that involved. You can meditate by sitting at your desk perfectly still for five minutes. You can focus on your breathing or on a mantra or on anything that helps you clear your mind. You don't have to be classically trained or perfect at anything to meditate. You just have to find what works for you and make the time to do it. 
• Journaling: Make time each day to write about how you feel about things. It helps to get the frustrations you have on paper which makes them real and helps to let them exit your body. This can be your way of letting things out instead of holding them in until you explode over the stupid, little things. 
• Gratitude journaling: This is a lot like journaling, but each day you focus on three things for which you are grateful. You can focus this on things other people did or on things that just happened. You can do this each morning for the previous day or each evening for the day you just had. By focusing on the things for which you are grateful, you can help to forget about the things that frustrate you. As you begin to focus on looking for things to add to this list, you will stop paying as much attention to the things that frustrate you.
• Forgiveness repetition: This is just something you can do for yourself. Many people will do this as they lay in bed getting ready to sleep. Think about the people or things that frustrated you and forgive them. Practicing forgiveness helps to clear away any lingering frustration and helps to make you feel better about everything happening around you.
• Do what makes you happy: This is obvious, but one we often don't do. When we become frustrated, we will often go home and just fall on the couch and watch TV or we bitch and moan to someone else about our frustrations or we drink a little too much or we eat too much or we just go to bed frustrated and angry. Instead, make time to do something you love. If you love to write, then make time to write. Same for listening or making music or reading or playing a sport or shooting pool or doing anything that makes you feel good. We spend so much of our time doing things we may not really want to do and we forget to make time to do the things we love.

These are just some of the things you can do to help alleviate the frustration. The more you do them, the less and less you will automatically get frustrated (hopefully). Some of these may not work for you...the key is to keep trying until you find what does work. Let your loved ones know what you are doing and what you need from them. You don't want your frustration to boil over on to them.

Frustration sucks, but it is something we will all feel from time to time, no matter what we do. Some of us become frustrated at the drop of a hat or have certain people in our lives who are just really good at frustrating us. Some of us will work jobs that are so frustrating that we start to dread them before we even get there. Some of us will get frustrated over things that don't bother anyone else, but we will all have to deal with frustration. How we deal with it will have a lot to do with the overall happiness we feel in life. The easier we frustrate and the more it happens, the less time we have to enjoy the things we love. Personally, I would rather spend my time doing things I love with people I love than feeling frustrated about anything. 

What do you do to help alleviate your frustration?

Positive vs. Negative

Sometimes, I just feel as if my best isn't good enough. I can't do the work as well as I would like. I can't express my thoughts in writing as succinctly as I hoped. I'm not smart enough. I'm not a good leader. I can't manage people. I have doubts and fears and I let them overtake my life. I wish I could be more and do more, but I can't find the motivation to do anything.

While we all feel this way from time to time, none of these thoughts are helpful. In fact, all of these thoughts are harmful. These thoughts cause people to be depressed. These thoughts urge people to escape with drugs and alcohol. These thoughts cause people to quit doing what they love to do. These thoughts stop people from making their life better, because they listen to the voice saying they are not good enough. These thoughts tear us down and leave us feeling overwhelmed and worthless.

Sooner or later, we have to grow tired of allowing negative thoughts to control our life. We have to stop listening to them and letting them tear us down. We have to do things for us and our way. We have to believe we can do anything. We can be more and we can do more, we just have to do the work. Ignore the doubts. Ignore the fears. Instead of allowing these thoughts to creep in, we have to become our own best cheerleader

By doing this, we can be more present in the now. We can stop letting other people frustrate us. We can stop doubting our abilities. We can stop worrying about/fearing things to come. We can stop dwelling on things that happened in the past. By paying attention to our thoughts as we have them, we can stop listening to the negative thoughts and consciously replace them with positive thoughts. Over time, if we continue to work on this, the negative thoughts will start to decrease and will automatically be replaced with positive thoughts.

This doesn't mean life will become all unicorns and rainbows. There will still be challenges and difficulties and negative times, but more and more of our time will be spent thinking positively. As we become a more positive person, the feelings of inadequacy will lessen. We may not do everything we wish we were able to do, but we will be giving our best and will know it is all we can do. Will life be any easier? Probably not, but it will be more fun and fulfilling. It all starts with recognizing our negative thoughts and consciously replacing them with positive.

I don't know about you, but I am tired of the negative thoughts and feelings. I am tired letting my own thoughts hold me back. I am tired of allowing my mind to tear me down. It's time to take our thoughts back and become the people we are meant to be. Let's start today...it's time to ignore the doubts and fears while replacing them with positive thoughts. Will you give it a shot?

How Do You Define Greatness?

Yesterday, I e-mailed back and forth with a dear friend about greatness and what it really means to be great. She had read one of my posts talking about being great and continuing to push until you get there and was interested in knowing how I define being great and how being different can be great. During this "discussion" (as it was via e-mail, so can it really be considered a discussion?), we both agreed great is a very subjective. What I may find as great and what you may find as great can be (and probably should be) two completely different things. We have our own thoughts and emotions and passions, so shouldn't greatness also be our own? Of course we can agree on some aspects of greatness or even both believe someone is doing great works, but even this might stem from differing reasoning.

For some, greatness comes from within. They want to slow down and embrace what they have and amplify themselves. They may believe they are already great, if they can only acknowledge this fact. They are tired of society constantly pushing them to do more, be more and get more. For me, it's a bit of a more meditative view of greatness...looking within and becoming comfortable with who you are and what you do is the way to achieve great works. Loving yourself. Being yourself. Being comfortable and happy with who you are and what you do.

For others, this idea may seem completely foreign. They see things on the horizon and want to keep pushing forward and learning more about the world and doing more. They don't necessarily want to get more stuff, but they want to increase their knowledge. They want to figure out what they can offer the world to help make someone else's life a little better. They are constantly driven to improve, be it personally, with what they do or how they think. They are constantly searching for something, even if they can't quite put their finger on what it is they are looking for. The search, the journey, is as important as the destination (if there can even be a destination).

The thing I learned the most during my e-mail exchange is two people can have completely different ideas of what great means and how to get there. I don't think either of our ideas are wrong, but I also don't think we could exchange ideas and practices and make them work. Greatness is a deeply personal idea and we all have to follow our own path to achieve whatever it is we want to achieve. Yes, we can learn from each other, but copying the success of someone else will bring you no closer to your goals. This life will take each of us in our own direction and to really achieve our goals, we have to do our own thing and get there in the way that makes sense to us. We can't follow others' paths, we have to walk along our own. Luckily, they are often close enough to see each other and discuss ideas and thoughts and motivations.

100

Welcome to post 100! When I started here, I wasn't too sure what it was going to be or if I would continue with it. For a while, I stopped posting to it at all and went with a Tumblr blog as I was usually just reposting other people's thoughts and insights. It took a while, but this fall, I wanted to see if I had anything of my own to say. Writing here became a habit and the last fifty-some posts have been in the same number of days. I haven't missed a day since late October and for me, this is quite an accomplishment.

I think writing, but especially blogging, is a somewhat selfish act. The act of grabbing the thoughts flowing through my head and getting them on paper is a type of meditation for me (hence the title of this blog). I write because I feel better when I write. I write because it allows me to work through things and see ideas I wouldn't be able to see if they were just traveling as figments of my imagination. I write because I love to write. I love knowing people are reading what I have to write and this helps to keep fuel in the tanks and allows me to write more. Many of the posts you will find here are deeply personal and many of the topic points are things I struggle with in my life. Writing this blog is a cathartic act, but I hope any readers will walk away with their own ideas or thoughts or musings, too.

I wish I could give you all the answers to life. I wish I could tell you how to always ignore fear or find fulfillment or find happiness or do the work or think for yourself or stand up for yourself or be better than you can dream or do something amazing. What I have realized in writing this blog is no one really has the answers. No one can give you a blueprint for your life. No one can tell you which path to follow or even how to find a path to follow. We are all in this together. We are all spinning round and just trying to do the best we can. We all fear and hope and dream and wish. We all want to be great. We all want to do something important. We all want to take the first step to the rest of our life. We all want to do more. If any of the posts I have written have helped to make you think or dream or hope or try, then I have done more than I could ever wish.

Whatever happens, I will continue to write. I will continue to put my thoughts on paper and will share them with the world. In this blog, you are going to find conflicting arguments and probably ideas that don't make sense. I just hope you can find something of value in all these ramblings. If you do, share them. If you like this blog, share it with others. If you don't like it, then I thank you for stopping by and wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors. Go out and live life with passion and abandon. We only get to try this once, let's make lasting memories and leave knowing we did the best we could.

Aspirations

"What are your aspirations?" An innocent question posed last night as I snacked on some veggies at a holiday gathering. My answer...I have no clue. This isn't entirely true as there are lots of things I would like to do, but I have never been sure where to start. The question of what I want to do with my life floats through my mind at least once a day. In fact, I think about this all the time.

Many of us have lots of ideas and thoughts and dreams, but I can't seem to latch on to just one whenever I try to decide on my next move. I have thought about trying lots of different things, but the more I think about them, the less I actually do. I wish I had an answer for this question each time I was asked. I really wish I could say I was doing it right now. I love animals and I have a passion for their welfare, but I don't think this is where my aspirations end. I am still searching for my true self. I am learning who I am and what I have to offer the world.

There are some people who know exactly what they want to do or who they want to become. I am envious and a bit distrusting of anyone who claims this. I don't understand how someone can be so sure of what they want to do and how this never changes for them. Maybe there really are people like this. I just know I will continue to search, to learn, to try new things and one day I believe I will be able to to figure this out. I just hope I have the courage to jump at any opportunity to keep pushing forward.