It's Up To You

Change happens.

It's up to you to decide if the change is good or bad. It's up to you to decide how you react. It's up to you to take control of any situation. It's up to you to figure out how to make the best out of anything. It's up to you.

Start acting like it.

Focus

Things don't always happen the way we want them to. We don't always get the results we are shooting for. There are going to be ups and downs in all of our lives. We'll have arguments; we'll make choices; we'll do the unthinkable; we'll fall down; we'll get up; we'll make some great choices; we'll do something really stupid; we'll win; we'll lose. Such is life.

What we do in our life is important, but how we live is even more important. We can do everything in our power to stay away from failure and mistakes and hurt. Or, we can attack life with a reckless abandon, chasing our dreams and not letting anything stop us. Yes, we will miss some things and we will fail and we will get hurt and we will make mistakes, but if we continue to get up every time we fall and keep pushing forward, nothing will be able to stop us.

I understand the thought and reasoning behind being careful and trying to insulate ourselves from hurting deeply. I spent way too many years of this life hiding from pain and doing anything I could think of to stay as far away from failure. The only thing I accomplished was numbing everything in life and filling it with regrets. I took no chances and did little to excel. I focused on the things I missed and didn't notice the things I gained. Did I really gain them, if I never noticed them?

How we live our life is tied directly to our outlook on life. If you look around you, the people who are truly happy are also the ones who embrace life and take chances and do the impossible. They feel life, both the good and the bad, but they don't dwell on the bad. They don't spend time regretting the things they have done. They keep moving forward and anticipate the great things to come. These people are no different than you or me. The only difference is our focus.

Perception

It's all about perception. If we go through life looking for or expecting the bad, we are going to see the bad more than the good. If instead, we go through life looking for or expecting the good, we are going to be more attuned to the good around us.

Everyone has bad days. Things are not always going to be perfect. Things will go wrong. People will disappoint us. We will make mistakes. From time to time, we will lose. But, things are only as bad as we allow them to be. Though it may be very hard to see and it may not be clear right away, there are positives in every situation. We just have to look for them.

This doesn't mean we can't be sad. We just can't dwell in sorrow. Get it out and then move on. When we strive to look for the positive in life, it is easier to leave the embrace of despair and continue on with our life and see the good in the world around us. Positivity breeds positivity, so start looking for the good in the world today. The more you look now, the easier it will be when times get really tough.

This may be difficult for you at first, but if you keep trying, it becomes easier and easier to see the good. Strive to find something good in every day and see if this changes your outlook. We all deserve to be more positive...for some of us, it just takes a little work.

Worry

If you are like me, all too often you find yourself worrying about things that may or may not occur. What has caused us to worry about these things?

Most of us have had our ups and downs, but all in all, things really haven't been horrible. We all have had times in our life we thought we wouldn't get through, but looking back, they usually don't seem as bad as we thought they were at the time. Why then, do we continue to worry about what may or may not happen in the future?

When we worry, not only do we imagine things being worse than they usually are, but we never know how each occurrence will affect our life. Many times, the things that hurt the most open us up to the best experiences later. Maybe having the person walk out on you opens your eyes and heart to someone much better. Maybe getting fired will force you to take the chance on what turns out to be the job of your dreams.

We never know what is going to happen in the future. We never know what good will come from seemingly bad things. Of course we don't want horrible things to happen, but good may just come from it. Even if the worst does happen, it might be because the best things needed it to enter your life. Worrying won't stop things from happening. All it does is keep you from enjoying the present.

Keep Pushing

Our life brings a strange collection of ups and downs, good and bad, success and failure. Many of us strive for more ups than downs, more good than bad and more success than failure. This is a normal reaction to each type of event. But, when we strive for these are we missing out on chances and risks which may pay off even more? If we fear failure, do we limit the success we can have? When we fear the bad, do we limit the amount of good?

Life is about taking chances and trying new things and doing things differently. Life is about figuring out who we are and what we can offer the world. Is it possible to truly find yourself without all of the above? Can we really know success if we have never risked enough to fail? We will never produce great work if we are constantly striving to not fail, to not do bad work. Dealing with the downs, the bad, the failures---these are the lessons we must have. We have to learn how to overcome, how to keep the down times from eating at our soul and keeping us from trying and risking again.

When we push ourselves and really try, there will be times when we don't succeed. Instead of dwelling on the failure, we must learn from it and try again. This is the only way we will be able to do great work. Everyone fails. The world is not against you. Shit happens. Don't let it ruin your day, your month or your year. Figure out why things failed and then try again in a new and better way. Keep learning and pushing and sooner or later you will get the up, the good, the success. When you have dealt with the others, these will taste so much sweeter.

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Endurance

Moving from good to great isn't usually about talent or who you know or what you do (though these can all help), it is about endurance. It is about putting in the work when it becomes difficult or monotonous or terrifying. You can have all the talent in the world, but without the ability to push through, to find your second (or third or fourth) wind, you will not be able to move to the next level. Are you willing to put in the work?

It takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master something. This could be a sport or a musical instrument or writing or surgery or anything else you can think of. To reach greatness, you have to put in a lot of time and a lot of work. Much of this work may require you to toil in obscurity. You have to be able to get up each morning and force yourself to do whatever it is you need to do to become great. You need the motivation to continue to practice when no one is looking. You need the motivation to practice, no matter what is happening in your life. You have to put in the work, even if the people around you think you are nuts. You have to ignore the naysayers and do what needs to be done.

Most people do not have the endurance to do this. This endurance requires confidence, drive, love and determination. Moving from good to great requires you to put in the work, but putting in the work does not always mean you will move from good to great. This is why many people choose to quit. If there isn't a reachable goal, they tend to pull up and move to something else. For other people, the putting in the work, the practice, the difficulty are the the goal. They want to be great, but they know they may not get there. They love the hard work and have the hope of getting better and better, but know they will never be perfect. For them, the journey is more important than the destination. This gives them the endurance to continue on, in spite of the difficulty, the criticism, the doubt. Do you have the endurance for the chance at greatness? Or, would you rather play it safe?

Winter

As I sit here on a cold November morning, I can't help but think of winter and snow. Yes, like most other people, I often complain about the cold temperatures, the hazardous driving conditions and the ice that always comes with a Missouri winter. But, I also think about why winter brings happiness to my household.

Dinners of soups or chili or stews, reading a book in front of a roaring fire, the warmth and comfort of my bed on a cold morning, the muffled existence caused by an overnight snow, watching my St. Bernard run around with glee in a blanket of white, nights spent playing board games or cards with the woman I love, snow angels, hot apple cider and tea and everything else winter brings in to my life. Winter is a time of closeness.

Everything occurring around us can be seen as good or bad, it all depends on the perception we wish to take and how we are going to allow ourselves to think about each occurrence. We can choose to see the good or the bad, but it is our choice. We can complain about the things we have no control over or we can choose to see the good. Start looking for the good and see if your life, your frustrations, your patience or your outlook changes. Make today beautiful.