What If?

Life is full of "what if" questions. What if I try this and can't do it? What if I don't like it? What if I just can't do it? What if no one cares? What if it doesn't work? What if people hate it/me/you? What if they laugh? What if it is the wrong decision? What if...what if...what if.

Everything we do can be preceded with a what if question. Stop. Stop asking them right now. The best answer to each and every one of these questions is "Who cares". Seriously, who cares if people laugh or hate something or if you get it wrong this time. Who cares if you make a mistake or choose a hard path or do something weird.

Each time you find yourself asking what if, instead ask yourself:

Is this something I really want to do?       

                                                                                          
If the answer is yes, do it. If the answer is no, then don't. Stop worrying about the possible outcomes and just keep moving forward. What if doesn't matter. What matters is not letting the fear of what happens next stop you from doing what you want.

What Matters

It's been a little while since I have written anything. Two weeks ago, I married an amazing woman and we spent our honeymoon in Cahuita, Costa Rica. Today is the first day back in the "real world" and I wish I could say I was excited, but trading the beautiful beaches and amazing weather in Cahuita for the chilly autumn air in Missouri hasn't been the easiest transition.

While I was away, I realized how much I care about things that really don't matter and I don't spend enough time on the things that do matter. We all get so caught up in the day to day life of jobs and worry and stress that we often forget to slow down and enjoy the life we are living. We get up every morning to go to a job that doesn't matter as much as we think it does, do some work (not nearly as much as we could) and then come home, often sitting in front of the television for hours on end.

While doing this, we constantly worry about things that don't matter or we don't have any control over and we allow little things that happen to frustrate us and ruin our mood. We do this day after day. Why? We convince ourselves it's all about the money we make and need (mostly to buy shit we don't really want or need) or the prestige of having the job title we have (or want) or because the work we do matters or because it's what society expects us to do as adults.

I'm not here to say you have to quit your job and do something else or make massive changes in your life. I'm saying we need to take stock of our lives and stop worrying about things that don't matter. We need to stop worrying about things over which we have no control. We need to stop allowing stupid little things to frustrate us all the time. We need to spend more time doing things that really matter to us...spend quality time with the people we love. Spend less time at work and more time taking a break and recharging the batteries you need to do a good job. Don't worry about having so much stuff...I know it is the way of our society, but do you really need that much?

Take a step back, slow down and figure out what really matters the most to you. Then, figure out how to do it more. This doesn't mean you have to make a massive overhaul to your life...it only means you need to realign your priorities. Our lives don't have to be filled with worries and stress and fears and frustrations. We can make the choice to live a different life. What's stopping you?

Occupy the Moment

We need to be more mindful of the moments we are in. All too often, we spend our time thinking about the past or worrying about the future. Neither of these do any real good, but doing them causes us to lose track of the moment.

Our life is a series of moments strung together. Many people go through life without ever really experiencing any of these moments and because of this, spend most of their life unfulfilled and dissatisfied. It is impossible to be satisfied with what you are doing now if you are spending your time wishing you did something different yesterday or worrying that you won't be able to do what you want tomorrow. We can go through our entire lives thinking about yesterday and tomorrow, but never really living today. We shouldn't.

In the end, we will look back at the moments of our life that mean the most to us. I know I want to have as many moments as possible to spend my time remembering. I know I won't think about the times spent worrying, but I will focus on the times I enjoyed by being one with the moment. Instead of occasionally having these times, we need to make sure we are having them on a daily basis.

Get up and watch the sunrise. Enjoy the sunset. Laugh more. Have a leisurely lunch with friends. Go on a walk. Spend time with loved ones. Have coffee and conversation. Cook an amazing dinner. Go out to eat. Plan a trip. Do whatever it is that you love to do and just enjoy doing it. Stop thinking about everything else going on in your life and spend time just being in the moment, letting the feelings overwhelm your senses.

Stop placing value on your life based on the number of hours you work or the amount of money you make or all the shit you own. There is way more to life than traffic and money and cell phones and meetings and job titles and salaries. There are moments in time that will live with you forever. There are people you will never forget. There are meals you will want to eat again and again. There are amazingly beautiful sunsets. There are personal goals to accomplish. There are unbelievable concerts. There are long walks with friends discussing life.

These moments are the really important things in life. Don't spend your life missing them...

What Do You Really Want To Do?

Look around at all the people you know. My guess is most of them aren't doing what they really want to do. Do you know why? Doing what you really want to do is hard.

No one said life was going to be easy, but many of us never realized how hard it would actually be to do the things we want to do. There are bills to pay and obligations to meet and jumping off the bandwagon is scary. We dig our ruts in work and outside of it and we are afraid to get out of them. We convince ourselves we are comfortable in the life we have dug and we learn to silence the voice saying there is something more, something better out there, if we would only try.

Forging our own path is hard. It's scary. There is the chance for failure around every corner. We may offend people. People may think we are crazy. People may talk about us. We will have to take responsibility for ourselves. Our mind screams "I don't have what it takes" and we constantly wonder what will happen if things don't work out. We imagine the worst case scenario (while not ever imagining the best case scenario). Filled with fear and doubt, we convince ourselves it is impossible. We quit before we even start.

How do you get past all of this and do what you really want to do? First, stop paying any attention to all the crap in the last paragraph. Figure out what you want to do and start doing it. This doesn't mean you have to completely change your life, but work on what you want to do. Picture the best case scenario and then start. Keep doing whatever it is. You don't need to have a full plan in place, you just have to start. Your plan would change overtime, anyway. Start taking steps and see what happens.

What is it that you really want to do? Forget about all the doubts, all the fears, all the worries and just start doing it.

Worry

If you are like me, all too often you find yourself worrying about things that may or may not occur. What has caused us to worry about these things?

Most of us have had our ups and downs, but all in all, things really haven't been horrible. We all have had times in our life we thought we wouldn't get through, but looking back, they usually don't seem as bad as we thought they were at the time. Why then, do we continue to worry about what may or may not happen in the future?

When we worry, not only do we imagine things being worse than they usually are, but we never know how each occurrence will affect our life. Many times, the things that hurt the most open us up to the best experiences later. Maybe having the person walk out on you opens your eyes and heart to someone much better. Maybe getting fired will force you to take the chance on what turns out to be the job of your dreams.

We never know what is going to happen in the future. We never know what good will come from seemingly bad things. Of course we don't want horrible things to happen, but good may just come from it. Even if the worst does happen, it might be because the best things needed it to enter your life. Worrying won't stop things from happening. All it does is keep you from enjoying the present.

Serious

Can we stop being so serious all the time? I am as guilty as anyone else and the older I get the less and less I seem to laugh. I know this needs to change.

As a society, we need to have more fun in all aspects of our life. We need to have fun at work. Outside of work, we really need to have more fun. We need to take more time off and go on more vacations and just do things that make us laugh and feel good about ourselves. Why do so many people become more and more serious as they age?

As we grow older, we see more and more responsibility, both at work and at home. Before we know it, we are paying bills and making large purchases and managing employees and running companies and balancing checkbooks and having kids and doing all kinds of other things we never thought we would do. We start to have "obligations" to fulfill. Life becomes less about having fun and more about making sure there is a roof over your head and food on your table. The laughter dissipates. The joy seems to be sucked out of many things we do and we feel challenged a lot more.

This doesn't have to happen. We shouldn't take ourselves or our lives so seriously. We need to laugh more. We need to play around more. We need to have more fun each and every day. The vast majority of "challenges" we face are not worth the stress. Yes, face them with everything you have, but don't let bring you down. This life is the only one you have. I know I don't want to be on my deathbed (hopefully many, many years from now) and regret the fact I didn't laugh more. I don't want to look back and regret the fact I didn't spend more time with people I love.

Today, I want you to spend more time having fun. I want to hear more laughter in the world. I want to see more people doing things they want to do and hear less complaining about how horrible things are. This doesn't mean you don't get your work done; it means finding ways to make your work more interesting and fun to do. If you can't do that, you need to find a new job. Get out there and do something interesting and enjoyable. Laugh more today. Smile more today. Worry less and have a lot more fun!

Want More or Give More

How would the world be different if everyone had a place to sleep, a roof over their head, money in their pocket and were able to read? What great things could people bring in to this world if they weren't spending their entire day trying to survive? We will all continue to worry about things going on in our lives, but this can hopefully bring a little perspective to those worries. For most of us, whatever happens, good or bad, it will not be the end of the world. For many other people, it could be.

Instead of always wanting more, maybe we should give more.