Some Things Are More Important

Some things are more important than being right. Some things are more important than being wrong. Some things are more important than what other people think of you. Some things are more important than getting credit. Some things are more important than your ego. Some things are more important than the money you make. Some things are more important than your possessions. Some things are just more important than everything else.

What's more important to you? If you have trouble coming up with answers, then you need to spend some time figuring out what really matters to you.

Love Yourself

Love yourself. A very simple sentence, but one of the hardest things we have to learn. We are who we are. We all have strengths and we all have flaws. We may wish we were smarter or stronger or braver or a better leader or naturally talented in many things, but we are who we are. While there are things we can change about ourselves, we have to be comfortable with who we are.

We often hear people extolling the virtues of those who are humble while being egotistical has a negative connotation. While it will often be labeled as egotistical by those on the outside looking in, we have to take pride in who we are and what we can do. Being humble might sound nice, but taking pride in who you are and what you do is necessary for truly loving yourself. Once you love yourself, there will be times when you should be humble.

Many of us use self-deprecating humor throughout the day. This has become a crutch for many of us who don't love who we are. We use this humor as a light hearted attempt to defuse situations or to just have a little fun, but there is often some truth to what seems to be only humor. Most of us wouldn't say some of the things unless we truly believed there was something to them. This is a habit you will never be able to stop overnight, but pay attention to when you use it. Think about it and ask yourself why you said what you said. The more conscious you become to it, the more likely you will be able to find out why you use it.

Many of us also get stuck on the things we don't do as well as we would like and we forget about the things at which we do excel. It understandable to focus on things we want to improve, but we can't do it exclusively or at the detriment to ourselves. We all wish we could do something that we can't, but we rarely want to put in the work to make it happen. Frustration and depression set in when we can't snap our fingers and make things change overnight. We want things to happen now, not at some point down the line.

Loving who you are right now is the first step to leading a happy life. This doesn't mean you can't work on things for the future, but you have to be comfortable with who you are and what you have to offer today. While it sounds so easy, it really isn't for a lot of people. We focus on the mistakes we make or the stupid things we do. We believe other people are constantly judging us for these things, too. The truth is, those who matter don't judge us for these things. Those who do judge us don't really matter. We have to stop worrying what anyone else thinks.

Believe in yourself. You have the ability to do great things, even if you don't yet know what they are. Yes, you have flaws, but this doesn't make you flawed. We all make mistakes and do dumb things from time to time. Just like you should cut some slack to the people around you; you need to cut yourself some slack. Focus on the things you do well and then do them. Work on the things you don't do as well, if you want to do them better. But, no matter what you do, love who you are. There are people around you who love you for who you are, flaws and all. Take a cue from them and find the love for yourself. This will move you closer towards the happiness you have been searching for.

Learn From Each Other

We can (and should) learn from everyone around us. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has something to offer. Sometimes, we have to search to find it, but it is there. All we have to do is remain open and learn.

This can be very difficult. There are people in our lives who just rub us the wrong way. We don't like them and we don't want to spend much time around them. Sometimes, these are the very people we can learn the most from. There is something about them giving us a negative feeling and it could be this is what we need to learn. Our ego pushes them away knowing we could become a little different with the knowledge we could obtain. Learn from them.

Surrounding us will be people we like, people we respect and people we admire. All of these people have something to offer as well. We can do well to study them, to see what they do and how they do it and then learn from them. Everyone has talents, even if they don't realize it. Figure out what you can learn from the people around you and gain the knowledge.

We can learn from the constructive feedback others give us and we can even learn from destructive feedback we receive. All we need to do is enter into every situation knowing, no matter what happens, we have something to learn. Don't take things personally (easier said than done) and focus on the learning process. This will not always be easy, but usually the best things in life aren't easy. Learning and knowledge building doesn't stop when you grasp the degree...in fact, it should never stop. Look for ways to learn something new each and every day and then see how the world around us changes.


All knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.
Leonardo da Vinci

Judging

Yesterday, I wrote about how we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Continuing with this same thought, we also spend way too much time judging others.

I guarantee, wherever you work, there is gossip. We constantly talk about the actions or thoughts of other people and how we agree, or more likely, disagree with them. We judge people everyday, often without even realizing what we are doing.

How can someone drive that fast? Why in the world would he leave all this work for me to do? Why can't they just do their job and quit talking? Why doesn't she brush his teeth more? How dare they lie to me! Why can't they just do their work? How could someone wear that out of the house? How can someone still smoke? How does someone eat that crap? What the hell is wrong with them?

We spend way too much time thinking about the actions of others and coming up with reasons why they should or shouldn't do something. The truth is none of us are perfect. There are literally millions of sayings and quotes dealing with this subject. None of us can really get in head of someone else, so we can't know the motivations of the people we are judging. Try giving people the benefit of the doubt.

We all have different motivations and passions and thought patterns and things we are dealing with. Maybe the person speeding and weaving through traffic is trying to get to the hospital because a loved one is dying. Maybe the person who didn't get all their tasks done and left some work for you was just served divorce papers. Maybe the person who lied to you didn't realize they were lying.

Every one of us makes mistakes. We all do things every day that someone else wouldn't do. We usually have our reasons for doing it, things no one else can really understand. We don't like to be judged, so why do we take so much pleasure in judging others? What makes us think we are better than any other person we meet?

We are all unique. We do things differently. Every set of circumstances is different. No two people faced with the same circumstances are going to do the exact same thing. Stop expecting every one else to do things the way you do. Stop believing that if you did something, everyone else can do the exact same thing in the exact same way.

This doesn't mean we can't have discussions about disagreements or things not getting done or ways to do things. These discussions shouldn't be about either person, but about the situation at hand. Take the ego out of it. Stop taking things personally. Worry more about living your life instead of criticizing others for the way they live theirs.