Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Let It Go
Walking around with built-up bitterness is a recipe for disaster. When we feel slighted or screwed over by someone we will often hold resentment towards this person for years to come. We will constantly talk about how we really dislike them and will let others know how we were screwed over.
Everything the person does is viewed through a lens of negativity. We assume every decision is one based on malice and bad intent. We may even think that anything done now is still an attempt to one up us or make us look bad. Some of us will struggle the rest of our life trying to prove the other person wrong.
The sad part is we can never, ever do our best work when we are doing it out of spite or in an attempt to show someone they were wrong about us. We can only do our best from a place of peace. Our motivation to do great work should not come from a place of negativity, like proving someone wrong. We will all do this from time to time, but when the past wrong constantly drives us, we will go nowhere good.
As hard as it sounds and as hard as it is to do, we have to let go of these negative emotions. They are doing nothing good for us and will only continue to bring us down. Yes, the person may have screwed us over. Yes, they might still be doing things in an effort to discredit us. Let them worry about the negativity they are bringing to their work. If this is really their goal, nothing good will come of their emotions, either. We have to be the bigger person and just let go. We should do the work we want to do and not worry what anyone else thinks, especially people we don’t like.
Bitterness can only be a driving force for so long. It feels like it is pushing us forward and helping accomplish things, but in the end, it will only lead to burnout and disappointment. Eliminate the bitterness and we will be able to find motivation from positive sources.
Think about why you do the work you do. There may be some bitter motivator, but for many of us, we do the work because we want to make a difference. We do things we are good at. We do things we love. We have a vested interest in what we do. In any case, the motivation behind your best work is always going to be positive motivation. Forget the past and move towards the future while living in the moment. Getting over the past isn’t going to happen overnight and is going to take time, but as we continue to work towards it, we will feel better.
There is nothing we can do to change what has happened and very little we can do to change people’s minds or attitudes. But, we can leave the game they are playing and play our own. No one says we have to get along with everyone. We have to live our life the way we see fit and there will be some people who just don’t figure in to it. Instead of letting them ruin your day, your week or longer, just move on with your life. Eliminate the bitterness and let the positive motivation allow us to do the best work we have inside.