It's Never Too Late

It's been nearly three months since I posted anything here and I am not sure how regular my posts will be, now that I have started again. I would love to say I will post three times a week or daily, but I just don't know. I started this blog a couple of years ago as a way to remind myself (and you) of the things that are important in life and how we should be doing them/living in a different way from what I am. I'm not sure if this blog was serving it's purpose or if the purpose has been transformed into something else. Only time will tell...

These last couple of months have been a little crazy. Lot's of things have changed and I have let some of the changes bother me more than I should. Have you ever had the type of change where you felt as if you went from being part of the team to being on the periphery? It's hard not to let this feeling bother you, but the best thing you can do is just let go. Change is always going to happen and it only has the control we give it. Emotion has a place in our lives, but it shouldn't run our lives. Anytime we are feeling frustrated or angry or sad over "little" things, we have to find a way to let go and move forward. These emotions aren't going to help us advance and will only cause us to dwell on things we don't need to dwell on.

I just returned from helping in Oklahoma City after the tornado. Helping with disaster response always reminds me of how quickly our lives can change. How many of us are living the life we actually want to live? How many of us are doing the things we want to do? How many of us are putting up with way too much shit because we are afraid to make changes? If you knew catastrophic change was going to happen in the next day or month or year, would you continue to live the life you currently lead?

Don't feel despair for what you haven't done, but make changes to live the life you want. If the people around you can't help you lead the life you want, then find new people and surround yourself with them. (I guarantee there are already some people around you who can help...you have been surrounding yourself with them without really knowing it). It's okay to change. It's okay to be different. It's okay to do what you need to do to live the life you want. No matter what you do, you aren't going to make everyone happy. Knowing this, doesn't it make sense to live your life in the ways that make you happy?

Change happens. We can't let change drag us down. Embrace the change and use it to live the life you want to live. Find the people who bring out the best in you and hold on to them tightly. Let everyone else go. Life is way too precious to be unhappy. Start doing what matters to you and stop worrying what everyone else thinks. Be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do. It's never too late to start.    

Rejection

Nothing hurts more than rejection. Being told you are not good enough to do whatever it is you want to do sucks. There isn't any way around this. The rejection could end up being a good thing or it could lead you down the path you really should head down or everything could turn out alright, but when the rejection happens, you are going to be angry and sad and frustrated (and probably any other "negative" emotion you can think of). If you are anything like me, your logical mind will try to convince you the rejection is an opportunity, but your emotional mind will want to yell and scream and curse and throw things.

How you react is important. It's okay to get angry and frustrated and sad, but don't let your emotions completely blanket your logical mind. As with any other event, we can't allow our emotions to smother our logic...we need them both and it is often a very difficult balancing act to contain them. I know how hard it can be to think logically when you are feeling frustrated, angry or sad, but you have to try. Rejection has to be seen as another challenge...another path...a change in the fabric of your reality. So, be angry, be sad, be frustrated, but get over it quickly. You can't let the rejections of life control you.

Rejection says as much (if not more) about the rejector than it says about you. Often times, you will be rejected out of fear. As humans, we have been programmed to not take risks, to not stand out, to not do anything that may not work. While this may keep people from making as many mistakes, it will also keep them from having great success. Don't allow other people's fear control who and what you do. Other people do things they think are right, in the same way you do things you think are right. The difficulty comes in realizing there isn't one right. The reasoning behind what you do is just as important as what you are doing.

There are going to be times when you are told you are not good enough. You are going to be rejected. You are going to get angry. You are going to be sad. You are going to be frustrated. You may scream. You may break some things. You may cry. It's okay. A big part of you is going to want to prove them wrong...but many times you can't. You are going to have to stand up, dust yourself off and move forward. One rejection, one door shutting, one change in the plan isn't going to change who you are. It doesn't make you someone else. Use this rejection as a chance to grow and learn and do something different. Succeed despite people's fears (even if this success will "prove" they were right in their rejection).

Everything that happens to you throughout life, good or bad, is an opportunity. There are always going to be people who make bad decisions and think they are good. There are always going to be people who are afraid to take risks. There are always going to be people who don't understand you. There are always going to be people who want you to be someone else. There are always going to be people who just don't get it. There are always going to people who reject you. Don't let any of it stop you from being you.

Rejection is just another obstacle along your path. Don't let it keep you from doing great things.

 

Stop Taking Things Personally

Too often, we confuse criticism or a comment on our work as criticism or a comment about who we are. We take things too personally and become offended because someone is pointing out a different way to do things or places where they see improvements can be made. We put a lot of time and emotion in to work and it often becomes enwrapped into our being. Separating this emotion when we receive the criticism or comments can be very difficult for most people.

When we take things personally, we find ourselves becoming depressed about the job, cynical and afraid to take chances. We don't welcome the feedback and we won't do anything that may invite it. Because we are afraid to take chances, we often become stuck doing the same things the same ways and improvements are not made. We all know people like this and many of us would honestly say we have been this person. I know I have.

As hard as it may sound, we have to get better at separating our emotional side from the work. We have to see the criticisms and comments as what they are, possible ways to improve our work and not direct attacks against us. The person commenting may not know exactly what you are doing or the complexities of the project, but eyes from the outside will often see things you can not see from the inside. Their comments or critiques can be very valuable, but you will never listen if you take them personally. When you start to get frustrated or angry, tell yourself this isn't an attack on you, but just a suggestion to improve your work.

If we all looked at these opportunities as chances to improve, instead of fodder for frustration and anger, would we be able to make great improvements to our work? Would we be happier?

Dreams

This tree really has nothing to do with this post, I just like it.

We all dream. We all have dreams. Our most important dreams are those we have when we are awake. These are the things we are supposed do. We are meant to chase our dreams and if we try hard enough, we just might catch them. Once we do, we are lucky enough to be able to dream again and come up with something new to chase.

The worst thing we could ever do is ignore these dreams. We may never feel the time is right to start chasing them. We may have too many responsibilities or too many bills or too many people relying on us. We may feel as if we owe our company or our boss for the job we have or feel it would be selfish to quit. We may be afraid of failing. We have probably become really too good at convincing ourselves we still have time and we can start tomorrow, which becomes the following day or the following month or the following year. We are amazing at coming up with excuses. While we may never feel the time is right, the time you choose, right now, is the right time to start chasing your dreams.

We dream for a reason. Our emotions and heart and intuition know what we want to do, what we should be doing, how we can bring the most good in to the world. Because we have become so good at ignoring these, we dream. It's the best way for the emotion and heart and intuition to be heard. Listen to them and start chasing.