Fear

Fear holds you back from doing everything you want to do
Fear keeps you from trying new things
Fear stops you from doing your best
Fear conditions you into thinking you can't chase your dreams
Fear destroys creativity
Fear keeps you from shipping
Fear breeds perfectionism
Fear leads to inaction
Fear causes you to conform
Fear encourages you to follow the flock
Fear hates change
Fear is what keeps you watching TV every night
Fear is what keeps you in that job you hate
Fear is what keeps you in a toxic relationship
Fear is what makes you follow the "rules" of life
Fear closes your heart to new things

Fuck Fear.
Stop being afraid of life and actually start living life

What If?

Life is full of "what if" questions. What if I try this and can't do it? What if I don't like it? What if I just can't do it? What if no one cares? What if it doesn't work? What if people hate it/me/you? What if they laugh? What if it is the wrong decision? What if...what if...what if.

Everything we do can be preceded with a what if question. Stop. Stop asking them right now. The best answer to each and every one of these questions is "Who cares". Seriously, who cares if people laugh or hate something or if you get it wrong this time. Who cares if you make a mistake or choose a hard path or do something weird.

Each time you find yourself asking what if, instead ask yourself:

Is this something I really want to do?       

                                                                                          
If the answer is yes, do it. If the answer is no, then don't. Stop worrying about the possible outcomes and just keep moving forward. What if doesn't matter. What matters is not letting the fear of what happens next stop you from doing what you want.

What Do You Want?

It can be tough figuring out exactly what you want. We have all these conflicting ideas and feelings floating around in our heads and we have the ability to rationalize in ways even we can't comprehend. All options are available and we can convince ourselves that each is what we really want. When we start to wonder what the right answer really is, many times we just won't know. Too much info going on in our heads...we have to take the time to reflect before choosing.

In nearly every situation, the answer that feels comfortable is often the easy way out (even if it doesn't really look like it). The one that scares you the most is usually the one you should choose. Most likely, it's what you really want, even if your mind won't admit it. Embrace the fear...choose the scary. It's not going to be easy, but it is going to be right. Isn't that what really matters?

Talk Is Cheap

On this blog, I write a lot about doing great work. You can find numerous other blogs and books that also talk about the importance of doing great work. We can talk about taking chances and not fearing failure and not caring what other people think until we are blue in the face, but talk really gets us nowhere. Once we are done talking, it is difficult to actually make changes to who we are and what we do. Without making changes, the only thing we will be able to do is continue to talk about doing great things.

I know it is hard to change the way you do things and how you think. I have the same difficulties myself. I'm not as productive as I would like to be. I don't always do the things I want to do. There are times I let fear control me. I don't take risks as much as I should. I don't speak up. Sometimes, I just try blend in with everyone else. I don't always volunteer for the tough projects. I don't stick my neck out enough.

In all honesty, this frustrates the hell out of me. I urge others to do all of the things I don't do as much as I would like. This makes me feel like a hypocrite, but I know these feelings of frustration and disappointment are not productive. Instead of these feelings, I need to use this as motivation for living the life I talk about. If I want to do more, then I need to make sure I am doing more. I am the only one responsible for my actions, just as you are the only one responsible for yours.

You see, no matter what, life isn't about perfection. We are going to have our ups and downs and we are always going to strive to be or do something more than we are right now. We all have room to grow and we all have the ability to improve. Feeling down about the things we aren't doing isn't the way to grow. Instead, celebrate the things you are doing well and learn from the things you are not doing as well as you would like. Make changes to try to improve the areas where you think you need improvement, but don't beat yourself up over what you view as shortcomings. Just keep working towards doing better.

You are not perfect. You are not going to do everything exactly like you think you should every time. You are not always going to take the right risks or do as well as you would like. You can learn to do more of the things you want to do. You just have to be conscious of the things you need to do and force yourself to do them. Force yourself to speak up in a meeting and share your idea. Volunteer for the next project offered. When you feel fear holding you back, do exactly what you are scared of.

Be cognizant of what you aren't doing as well as you would like. Don't let this frustrate you, but recognize what you need to do, acknowledge the things holding you back, then overcome them. As I said earlier, you are the one in control of your actions. If you don't want anything to hold you back, then don't let anything hold you back. You can accomplish anything you want to accomplish. It's going to take work. You have to hold yourself accountable. You know what you must do to overcome whatever has stopped you in the past.

I know I will never be perfect, but I can be better than the person I was yesterday. I will continue to work on the things I want to do better. I will be more productive. I will not let fear stop me. I will take more risks. I will speak up more often. I will volunteer for the tough projects. I will stick my neck out. I will do more than I ever have. Will you?

What Will Make This Week Better?

It's Monday morning and as you are getting ready for the week ahead, what are you going to do to make it better? What are you going to do to make this week different? What are you going to do to step out of your comfort zone? Here's a short list of ideas to get you going:

• Do something that scares you
• Go out of your way to make someone happy
• Learn something new
• Start a new project
• Make time to read
• Focus on smiling
• Meditate
• Exercise
• Make "to do" lists every morning
• Volunteer
• Buy a homeless person lunch
• Start a conversation with a stranger
• Get enough sleep
• Eat a healthy meal every day
• Listen to people

In all honesty, it doesn't really matter what you do, just as long as you are doing something. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Stop wasting time and start doing what you need to do to live the life you want. Start today. What are you going to do?

Rejection

Nothing hurts more than rejection. Being told you are not good enough to do whatever it is you want to do sucks. There isn't any way around this. The rejection could end up being a good thing or it could lead you down the path you really should head down or everything could turn out alright, but when the rejection happens, you are going to be angry and sad and frustrated (and probably any other "negative" emotion you can think of). If you are anything like me, your logical mind will try to convince you the rejection is an opportunity, but your emotional mind will want to yell and scream and curse and throw things.

How you react is important. It's okay to get angry and frustrated and sad, but don't let your emotions completely blanket your logical mind. As with any other event, we can't allow our emotions to smother our logic...we need them both and it is often a very difficult balancing act to contain them. I know how hard it can be to think logically when you are feeling frustrated, angry or sad, but you have to try. Rejection has to be seen as another challenge...another path...a change in the fabric of your reality. So, be angry, be sad, be frustrated, but get over it quickly. You can't let the rejections of life control you.

Rejection says as much (if not more) about the rejector than it says about you. Often times, you will be rejected out of fear. As humans, we have been programmed to not take risks, to not stand out, to not do anything that may not work. While this may keep people from making as many mistakes, it will also keep them from having great success. Don't allow other people's fear control who and what you do. Other people do things they think are right, in the same way you do things you think are right. The difficulty comes in realizing there isn't one right. The reasoning behind what you do is just as important as what you are doing.

There are going to be times when you are told you are not good enough. You are going to be rejected. You are going to get angry. You are going to be sad. You are going to be frustrated. You may scream. You may break some things. You may cry. It's okay. A big part of you is going to want to prove them wrong...but many times you can't. You are going to have to stand up, dust yourself off and move forward. One rejection, one door shutting, one change in the plan isn't going to change who you are. It doesn't make you someone else. Use this rejection as a chance to grow and learn and do something different. Succeed despite people's fears (even if this success will "prove" they were right in their rejection).

Everything that happens to you throughout life, good or bad, is an opportunity. There are always going to be people who make bad decisions and think they are good. There are always going to be people who are afraid to take risks. There are always going to be people who don't understand you. There are always going to be people who want you to be someone else. There are always going to be people who just don't get it. There are always going to people who reject you. Don't let any of it stop you from being you.

Rejection is just another obstacle along your path. Don't let it keep you from doing great things.

 

Take A Deep Breath And Start Again

I mess up a lot. I fail quite often. I get uncomfortable making small talk and often say stupid things. I make a lot of mistakes. I don't have my shit together. I have started a lot of things I haven't finished. I have trouble keeping with an exercise plan. I become frustrated, angry, disappointed, sad, bitter and fed up, sometimes all in the same day. I look back at my life and wish I had done some things differently. I think about my past and feel guilty for things I did. I allow fear to keep me from doing things. I become cynical and sarcastic way too easily. I do a lot of things wrong. I procrastinate. I don't always give my all.

I have a life I am proud of. I get to go to work each day and help animals and people have better lives. I have the ability to make changes in my life and stick with them when I need to. I have amazing people around me who don't care about the first paragraph. When I fail, I get back up. I wake up every morning knowing the day is a fresh start to do new things. I try to incorporate what I write about into my life, even when I am not always perfect at doing it. I accept the fact I have done stupid things in the past and forgive myself for doing them. I try to overcome fear whenever I can. I work hard. I am constantly learning new things.

I'm not an expert in how to live life anymore than any of you are. I have done a lot of things and I have faced a lot of hardships, but I am still learning and growing each and every day. I'm going to continue to make mistakes and fail and say stupid things. I am going to do things I am not proud of. I'm also going to succeed and do things right and say smart things. I am going to do things I am proud of.

I have to give myself some credit and cut myself some slack. I have to learn. I have to try. I have to accept and embrace change. I have to put in the work. I have to get up when I fall. I have to try to live each day a little better than the day before. I have to take a deep breath and start again.

Your Comfort Zone

Sure, you can continue to do what you know. You can take no risks and know the outcome of everything you try. You can eat the same foods and go to the same places and do the same things. You can play it safe. You can shy away from the things that scare you.

But, what's the point? How many amazing things have happened to you because you played it safe and didn't take any risks? How many new and interesting people have you met by hanging out in the same places? How many times have you felt really accomplished when your actions are directed by anxiety and fear?

The really good things in life tend to happen when we are out of our comfort zone. We learn and grow and evolve by challenging ourselves and pushing through the anxiety and fears into new places, ones where we aren't perfectly comfortable. In these places, we can have new ideas, meet new people and do any number of things that are interesting and exciting. Anything can happen when you don't know what to expect.

Start small, if you want. Try a new type of food you normally wouldn't try. Go to a gym you have never visited. Strike up a conversation with someone you've never met. Read a book you wouldn't normally read. Attend a networking event you would normally skip. The more and more you do this, the easier it will become.

Once you start doing the little things, you will find yourself pushing more and more. Once you stop letting anxiety and fear dictate your direction, you will find yourself doing more interesting and life-changing things. Would you prefer to live a life where you have a good idea of what is going to happen, with very few ups and downs or do you want to live a life where you aren't sure what is going to happen, but you know there is a chance for something amazing?

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone...isn't it about time you stepped beyond it?

Scary

Things we fear:

• moving forward
• change
• stepping out of our comfort zone 
• speaking up 
• being true to ourselves
• standing out 
• not giving up 
• creating art 
• doing the work 
• taking chances 
• constantly trying to improve 
• admitting mistakes
• chasing dreams
• listening to instinct
• sharing with the world
• criticism
• praise   
• blazing your own path
• new ideas
• difficult conversations
• failure
• success

Things we must embrace:

• moving forward
• change
• stepping out of our comfort zone 
• speaking up 
• being true to ourselves
• standing out 
• not giving up 
• creating art 
• doing the work 
• taking chances 
• constantly trying to improve 
• admitting mistakes
• chasing dreams
• listening to instinct
• sharing with the world
• criticism
• praise   
• blazing your own path
• new ideas
• difficult conversations
• failure
• success

It won't always be easy

Forget about what other people think. Forget the doubts. Forget the fear.  Don't listen to the naysayers. Don't let anyone stop you. Don't worry so much. Don't hold back.

Live your life. Follow your heart. Do things you think are impossible. Dream big. Be yourself and believe in that person. Do what makes you feel alive. 

This takes work and dedication and courage and strength. It's not always going to be easy, but the best things in life rarely are and it will be worth it. What do you want to do?

What Matters

It's been a little while since I have written anything. Two weeks ago, I married an amazing woman and we spent our honeymoon in Cahuita, Costa Rica. Today is the first day back in the "real world" and I wish I could say I was excited, but trading the beautiful beaches and amazing weather in Cahuita for the chilly autumn air in Missouri hasn't been the easiest transition.

While I was away, I realized how much I care about things that really don't matter and I don't spend enough time on the things that do matter. We all get so caught up in the day to day life of jobs and worry and stress that we often forget to slow down and enjoy the life we are living. We get up every morning to go to a job that doesn't matter as much as we think it does, do some work (not nearly as much as we could) and then come home, often sitting in front of the television for hours on end.

While doing this, we constantly worry about things that don't matter or we don't have any control over and we allow little things that happen to frustrate us and ruin our mood. We do this day after day. Why? We convince ourselves it's all about the money we make and need (mostly to buy shit we don't really want or need) or the prestige of having the job title we have (or want) or because the work we do matters or because it's what society expects us to do as adults.

I'm not here to say you have to quit your job and do something else or make massive changes in your life. I'm saying we need to take stock of our lives and stop worrying about things that don't matter. We need to stop worrying about things over which we have no control. We need to stop allowing stupid little things to frustrate us all the time. We need to spend more time doing things that really matter to us...spend quality time with the people we love. Spend less time at work and more time taking a break and recharging the batteries you need to do a good job. Don't worry about having so much stuff...I know it is the way of our society, but do you really need that much?

Take a step back, slow down and figure out what really matters the most to you. Then, figure out how to do it more. This doesn't mean you have to make a massive overhaul to your life...it only means you need to realign your priorities. Our lives don't have to be filled with worries and stress and fears and frustrations. We can make the choice to live a different life. What's stopping you?

Begin it now

I know I write about this a lot, but I came across this quote attributed to Johann Wolfgang van Goethe recently and no matter who actually wrote it, this gets the point across. 

No matter what you want to do, start doing it. If you are terrible, then you are terrible, but practicing is what will make you good. If you are scared, good. The things we are most scared of are usually the things we should be doing. If you don't know if it is right, then try it. How will you ever know unless you try? What if you fail? Then you try again. 

We spend so much time thinking about whether or not we should do something that we make starting the hardest part. Stop thinking so much and just get started. Starting doesn't mean the world is going to be figured out or that you have to keep doing it the rest of your life. Starting just means you have taken the first step...you have gotten past the hesitancy and you have begun. Starting is neither the end of the world or the change you have been waiting for. 

Starting is the first step (of many) down the path you want to follow. Just like every other path you have followed in life, there will be many other branching paths you can take as you move along it. Starting doesn't decide everything; it just gets your ass in gear. Starting doesn't commit you to anything, it just allows you to move forward. Stop standing still hoping change will come to you. Whatever it is you want to do, begin today. No more hesitation, no more fear, no more over-thinking...just start.  

Yes

Why are we so afraid of hearing the word no? Why do we let the thought of being told no stop us from asking the questions we want to ask? How can one simple, short word be so scary? What horrible things will happen when someone dares to utter it?

Our fears are rarely rational. Being afraid of the word no is entirely irrational. You should be pushing forward so hard that you hear no over and over every day. Ask the difficult questions. Chase after the things you really want. Put in the work and grab hold of your goals and dreams. Being told no is part of life and you don't need to fear it. Ask for so many things each day that you grow comfortable hearing the word no...though never be satisfied with it. No is not the end of the world. No is not the worst thing that can happen.

If you stop fearing no, how many more questions will you ask? Ask for a raise. Ask for a new job. Ask the person you respect to mentor you. Ask that girl or guy out on a date. Ask for a better price on anything you buy. Ask your customer to purchase more. Ask that person for a reference. Ask for an upgrade. Ask for people to follow you. Ask for support. Ask for anything you want or need. What most people forget is the more they ask, the more chances they have for a yes. If your fear of no stops you from asking, you have no shot at yes. It's time we quit letting our fears stop us before we get started.

Today, take one of the questions you have been putting off due to fear and ask it. What do you really have to lose?

Do Not Go Where The Path May Lead

We must stop living someone else's idea of what our life should look like. This is our life. If we don't like any of the paths laid down in front of us, we need to blaze our own. We don't have to do things because we think they are expected. We have the right to find our own light and to chase it to the ends of the earth.

We have to search for what makes us feel alive. If you haven't found it yet, don't stop looking. Blazing our own path in life is difficult, but is worth it. What do you want to do? Where do you want to be? What do you see yourself doing in five years? When you look at your daily life, how does it make you feel? These are all questions we need to be asking ourselves and each other, but we rarely do. When we do get asked them (often in job interviews), we have stock answers, but not honest ones.

We are often stuck, not being entirely happy, but not entirely unhappy, either. We are afraid to make changes as we aren't sure what will happen or if our choices will move the needle closer to happy or unhappy. Because of this, we don't do anything. I am here to tell you that this is no way to go through life. We all have to stop freezing with fear and spend more time taking that first step. Once we start moving, we have a better chance of continuing to move.

Discovering your meaning in life is tough. Many people never do, but this is because they constantly search for their meaning along someone else's path. They are convinced they have to do certain things or act in certain ways because of what they have been told. They never summon the courage to follow their own path. We have the ability and the duty to live a life that matters to us. No excuses. No apologies. Blaze a path other people will want to follow. You only get one shot at this life, isn't time to start making it count?

Potential

The sad fact is the vast majority of people never reach their full potential. Many of us never will. We don't push ourselves. We don't try new things. We don't keep searching. We settle. We think tangible things matter. We stay away from the things that scare us. We resist change. We stop learning. We spend more time in front of the television. We don't read enough. We shy away from challenges. We ignore our dreams. We stop listening to our heart. We give up.

Why do we do this? It's easier. We're afraid. Doing something new or scary takes courage and we don't know what will happen. We like knowing the outcome before we start. We want to know what will happen if we do A or B. Not knowing scares the shit out of us. It's easier to stand still or do what we have always done.

Allowing this fear to take over breeds complacency and laziness. Once it takes over, it becomes harder and harder to make changes. You convince yourself that you are living the life you should, but the little voice inside of you disagrees. You still have dreams, you have just gotten better at ignoring them. Many people can go through the rest of their lives like this. They can believe they are content, without coming anywhere close to their full potential.

But, even these folks feel the doubt. For them, it doesn't come along as often, but every now and again they will catch themselves wondering if their is something more out there. They will often forget these thoughts as quickly as they come, but they still have them. You have these thoughts. I have these thoughts. We all do. Having them doesn't matter nearly as much as how we react to them. Ignoring them is never the answer. We have to become better at listening to our heart and mind.

When you wonder, do something. This is the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Do something that scares you. Learn something new. Turn off the television and get some exercise, spend more time thinking, read a book, have a conversation with someone. Just do something different. The further we push ourselves, the closer we come to realizing our potential. You will never know what you are capable of until you have given it your all. What really scares you? Get out there and do it!

Start Moving

For a lot of people, the scariest question anyone can ask is "what do you really want to do?". We have so many things we would like to try and yet, we don't know which to do. We worry about failure and not actually liking what we choose and if we are going to be good enough and what the future will bring if we choose this but not that.

We hesitate and end up defaulting to what we are doing without really making a choice. There is no moving forward and we continue to bitch and moan about how we aren't happy or we aren't doing something we are passionate about. Making a choice is hard. Changing our trajectory in life is even harder. Doing nothing new is easy and takes little effort, but it doesn't lead to anything better. When this happens, the only person we can blame is ourself.

Spend some time today thinking about what you want to do. It can be within the job you have now. If you could do anything within your company, what would it be? If you don't see anything within your company, start looking outside of it. Find something you want to try and then do it. You don't have to know what will lead you to happiness, you only have to know what you want to try. If you don't like it, then you find something else to try. Keep searching and changing and doing new things. Don't be afraid of the future that will unfold based on your choices...if you are bored or unhappy now, it will be better than where you are.

Not making a choice helps no one. Once you become frustrated or bored, you are no longer able to do great work. Yes, you can get by, but who are you really helping? You don't have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. All you need to know is what things you would like to try. No one knows exactly what the future will bring, but if you have ideas, you are already ahead of many of us. If you start acting on these ideas, you will be doing something many of us only talk about. 

Really think about this. What do you really want to do? This shouldn't be a scary question, but a question your have multiple answers for and are excited to answer. We shouldn't paralyzed, but instead should jump at any opportunity to continue moving forward. Yes, you may end up thinking you would have liked it better if you didn't make the change, but this should only be a fleeting thought before deciding it is time to move forward again. Keep pushing ever forward and trying new things.

If you have been reading this blog and continue to come back, my guess is you are not the type of person who is going to stick with the same job for the rest of your life. We live in an age where most people will not stay with the same company for their career and then retire. We are doing something new and different, something our parents and their parents wouldn't understand. We are searching for what will make us feel good. We are searching for the niche where we will be able to do the most good. We are constantly changing and moving around and trying new things. We have multiple interests and talents and want to try them all out. The world is constantly changing around us and we need to change with it.

What do you really want to do? Instead of freezing when asked this question, spend enough time thinking about it to come up with multiple answers. We only get one shot at life, shouldn't we give it everything we've got? No excuses. No hesitation. Start moving.

Get Out Of Your Head

Dream. Do the work. Challenge yourself. Take chances. Feel free to fail. Be yourself. Blaze your own path. Learn something new every day. Create great art. Do something amazing. These are all things I have written about doing and think we should all strive to do. The hard part, the part many of us continue to struggle with, is getting out of our own heads and actually doing them.

Even though we may not realize it, we spend a lot of our time comparing ourselves to others and doing what we think the world wants us to do. We become frustrated when we can't express what we want to express; when we can't enjoy doing things we think other people want us to do; when we just can't quite live up to the ideas we have planted in our heads of what we are supposed to be like. We worry about the things we feel we should be doing. We regret the things we did or didn't do. We start to have doubts when we see someone who is writing better than us or creating better art or taking more chances or doing anything we want better than us.

Instead of getting out there and doing what we should, we become paralyzed by over-analyzing. We allow our fears and doubts and frustrations to paralyze us and continue to have more fears or more doubts or more frustration. We aren't able to accomplish the things we want to accomplish because we are constantly worried about getting it wrong or not being able to do it. We become frustrated when we feel we aren't doing what adults should be doing or when we can't just keep on track or no one is reading our writing or no one is buying our art. We get scared because we don't know what we should be doing and instead of looking and trying new things, we stick with what we have, even though we know it isn't the path we are looking for. We freeze and allow more negativity to creep in.

To do anything that matters to you, you have to stop allowing the negativity to creep in. If you want people to read what you are writing, keep writing. If you want people to buy your art, keep creating and putting it into the world. If you want to blaze your own path, then keep dreaming and taking action.  If you want to find what you love to do, you have to search for it. Ignore the frustrations and doubts and fears and just push forward. Stop assuming you know what other people think about who you are and what you do. Stop worrying. Stop the self-flagellation. It's good to critically think about what you do or who you are, but being overly critical or self-deprecating is just wrong. Stop letting this happen.

I know, you are saying this is easier said than done and you are right. Start by becoming more aware of what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Question yourself when you start to feel the frustration and doubts and fears. Don't berate yourself for feeling them, but question where they come from. Notice these feelings and allow your awareness to help dissipate them. Every time they pop up, continue to do this. Once we start eliminating this negativity, what can we accomplish? When we don't freeze from the negativity, there is nothing stopping us. It's about time we got out of our own heads and actually did something.  

What Do You Really Want To Do?

Look around at all the people you know. My guess is most of them aren't doing what they really want to do. Do you know why? Doing what you really want to do is hard.

No one said life was going to be easy, but many of us never realized how hard it would actually be to do the things we want to do. There are bills to pay and obligations to meet and jumping off the bandwagon is scary. We dig our ruts in work and outside of it and we are afraid to get out of them. We convince ourselves we are comfortable in the life we have dug and we learn to silence the voice saying there is something more, something better out there, if we would only try.

Forging our own path is hard. It's scary. There is the chance for failure around every corner. We may offend people. People may think we are crazy. People may talk about us. We will have to take responsibility for ourselves. Our mind screams "I don't have what it takes" and we constantly wonder what will happen if things don't work out. We imagine the worst case scenario (while not ever imagining the best case scenario). Filled with fear and doubt, we convince ourselves it is impossible. We quit before we even start.

How do you get past all of this and do what you really want to do? First, stop paying any attention to all the crap in the last paragraph. Figure out what you want to do and start doing it. This doesn't mean you have to completely change your life, but work on what you want to do. Picture the best case scenario and then start. Keep doing whatever it is. You don't need to have a full plan in place, you just have to start. Your plan would change overtime, anyway. Start taking steps and see what happens.

What is it that you really want to do? Forget about all the doubts, all the fears, all the worries and just start doing it.

What's Really Stopping You?

If you could spend the rest of your life doing anything, what would it be? For most people, this can be a very difficult question because it opens up a new realm of possibility, if they think about it honestly. Another way to ask the same question, when you daydream, where to you see yourself going and what do you see yourself doing?

What's stopping you? Is it money? Your family? Don't know where to start? Think it is impossible? Afraid to lose family and friends over a "crazy" idea? Worried about what happens if it doesn't work out? Think doing these things are for younger people or older people or single people or couples without kids or people who don't own a house or any other type of person who isn't you? Have too many responsibilities?

Well, I am going to call bullshit on all of the above and any other excuse you can come up with. There are only two things stopping you from doing what you want: fear and laziness. We are really good at self-sabotage. For many of us, we would quit our job and do something we love once we have enough money saved up, but we don't focus on saving. We think we need more experience or a degree to do what we want, but we don't try to find experience or sign up for classes. We don't know where to start, but we don't do any research to figure it out. We convince ourselves our dreams are impossible because we are too scared to actually chase them. What if we fail? What if things go wrong?

What if they don't? As I get older, I am starting to realize I would much rather chase my dreams and not quite reach them than think they are impossible and not do anything. I have used all of the excuses in paragraph two and while they may make "logical" sense in my head, they are really bullshit. Chasing your dreams and plotting your own course is odd and a little too rare. People might think you are crazy and they might worry a lot about you. And? Do you really want to live your life in such a way that no one ever worries about you?

These excuses work for the little dreams, too. Things you say you want to do and still haven't. Do you want to travel the world? Eliminate the bullshit excuses and what's really stopping you? Do you want to write a novel? Eliminate the bullshit excuses and what's really stopping you? Do you want to move to another state or another country? Eliminate the bullshit excuses and what's really stopping you? Do you want to run a marathon, climb a mountain, hike the Appalachian Trail, bike across America, learn to surf, sail around the world, skydive, start a band or any other "crazy" idea? Eliminate the bullshit excuses and what's really stopping you?

I honestly believe we can do anything we want to do. We have to eliminate the bullshit excuses, stop allowing fear to run our life, stop being so damn lazy and figure out where to start. There are people out there who live their life by their own rules and I am sure they would be more than happy to help out. I wish I could say I am living a life like this, but I am on this journey with you. We're not getting any younger. I say we start calling each other on the bullshit excuses and start living the life we really want to live.

Mountains out of Molehills

Many times, we allow ourselves to make things bigger than they really are. Yes, we are going to do things that suck. Yes, things are going to happen that make life much more difficult while we fix them. Yes, things are going to go wrong. Yes, things are going to be difficult. Yes, things are not always going to be rainbows and unicorns.

But, if we take a second to pause and breath deeply, can we honestly look at anything happening and say this is really the end of the world? Are things ever as bad as we make them out to be? Instead of complaining or floundering or dreading or fearing or worrying or thinking about how hard something is, what if we just rolled up our sleeves and got to work? What would happen if we just went about fixing things that needed to be fixed, without throwing in all the above fear and loathing?

I'm not saying that we shouldn't feel the emotions we feel when everything explodes in our face, but if we acknowledge them and then get to work, our lives will become a lot easier. Five years from now, these problems, the ones that are so horrible now, are going to be nothing more than a small blip on our timeline. When we let things get to us, we aren't able to do our best work and we spend more time complaining when we should be creating. No one does their best work when they are frustrated or angry or upset or afraid.

Things are really never as bad as we make them out to be. Figure out what needs to be done and do it. Leave the emotions out of it until it is time to celebrate. People love to say "everything happens for a reason." I don't know if this this true, but believing it does make the bad things seem a lot more manageable.