Analyze This

It's a strange feeling, sitting at home on a Monday morning---not having anything to do and not having anywhere to be. It's been a long, long time since I could sit, relax, slow down and spend time on me. It has also been a while since I wrote anything on a regular basis. I have gotten so caught up with work and exercise and I just stopped writing. While I may never get back to blogging on as regular a basis as before, I will be writing more in the upcoming months...

The sad part is it is only 8:00am on the first Monday I have had off this year and I feel like I haven't been productive enough. I have a really hard time slowing down...I feel like I always need something to do. Part of this could be from school...getting busy work to "utilize" time. Part of this could be from previous jobs...the need to make sure the boss doesn't catch you "slacking". Part of this could be because I don't always like where my thoughts go when they wander...questioning why I do or don't do certain things. While reflecting and analyzing are good things to do, they can also be very difficult.

Did I make the right decisions? Did I do the right things? Am I living the life I want to live? What would have happened if I did things differently? Are things going to work out the way I hope? Will they work out at all? What could I have done differently? Did I give it my best shot? Did I give it enough time?

Asking these types of questions is both difficult and important. While we don't want to dwell on everything we do, we should take time to reflect. Some of the questions you aren't going to be able to answer...some have no real answers as we can't know about things we didn't do. Some are questions to help guide where you go next. Some are there to help you learn.

We're going to make good decisions and we are going to make bad decisions. There is nothing we can do to change this. By reflecting on the decisions we make, we can gain knowledge to use as we move forward and make more. The key is to keep moving forward, no matter what. Sometimes we have to just embrace the chaos going on around us. Sometimes we have to jump and get as far away from it as we can. But, more often than not, we have to do both (though doing both will often mean different things to each of us). What chaos do you need to embrace? What will you do today to keep moving forward?

Simple Questions

What are you doing to make today better than yesterday?

What are you doing to grow in to the person you want to be?

What are you doing to help others reach their potential?

How much more can you do?

What's stopping you?

Simple questions, but not so simple answers. What would happen if you actually answered these?

What Questions Will You Ask Yourself

I have written a lot about the importance of finding happiness. People much smarter than me have written hundreds of thousands of words about how to find what makes you happy. There are entire sections in bookstores (what few still exist) on living a happy life. Every day, people look at you and decide if they think you are a happy person. For many of us, we wonder why we aren't happier and read everything we can to figure out how to get to the level of happiness for which we yearn.

Every time I start thinking about why I am not happier, I ask myself some basic questions. What do you do that makes you happy? How much time have you spent doing this lately? How much have you exercised lately? What is keeping you from being as happy as you want? What difficulties are you facing at work or at home that are causing stress? What can you do about them? What do you want to change?

While this may seem like a lot of questions, I think we have to find a way to ask ourselves these questions more. Instead of waiting until our mind starts wondering why we aren't happier, we need to make sure we are making the time to do the things we really enjoy doing. We need to exercise (as I am living proof that all the studies are correct...the more your exercise, the better you feel). We must look at the things that are keeping us from being happy and figure out how to change them or eliminate them. Being honest about the difficulties we are facing is the first step in solving them. It probably won't be easy, but is necessary. Figuring out what to change is also going to be difficult, but if you aren't happy now, then you have to make changes to become happy.

There are some things you can do and control internally to help, too. Stop taking constructive criticism personally. Hell, stop taking any criticism personally. For me at work, I have a hard time doing this. I want to do an amazing job and any time any of my staff aren't doing things they way they should, I take it is a knock on my leadership. I can't do this and be happy about my work. Instead of looking at criticisms as negative, view them instead as a challenge to do better. Don't think of them as being caused by you not being good enough, instead think of them as stepping stones towards greater things.

Stop talking about other people and instead talk to the people. Difficult conversations are just that, difficult to have. But, they are the best way to get everyone on the same page and help to eliminate any future problems or misunderstandings. We owe our friends, loved ones, family and colleagues the respect of discussing any issues with them instead of everyone around them. No difficulties go away though gossip.

Quit focusing on everything at the same time. Nothing leads to unhappiness more quickly than being overwhelmed, stressed out and not reaching deadlines and goals. We all have a lot of things we need to work on and a lot of things screaming for our attention. Focus on fewer tasks at once and get them done to the best of your ability. Then, move on to the next ones. You have to be able to prioritize.

Cut yourself some slack. We are going to make mistakes. We aren't going to reach every goal every time. There is going to be criticism and feedback. Here's a secret...none of us is perfect. We are going to be harder on ourselves than anyone else is. Give yourself some credit and just do the best you can do each and every day.

Will doing all of these things make you as happy as you want to be? Maybe, maybe not, but it will help to lead you in the right direction. What questions are you going to ask yourself today? What harm is there in trying?

What if Money Was No Object

I know I have been writing a lot about grabbing hold of your dreams and doing what you want, but I had to share this video. This is exactly what I have been thinking a lot about recently, though put more eloquently. If money was no object, what would I want to do? What do I desire? What makes me happy? 

I don't know exactly what I would do, but I do know it would involve helping animals and people, traveling, writing and feeling as if I am making a difference in the world. Now I just need to find what it is that will allow me to do all of the above. What is it that you want to do? What do you need to find to stop doing things you don't want to do to buy thing you don't really want? 

When are we going to step up and say enough is enough? When are we going to stop chasing someone else's dream and start chasing our own? When you watch this video, how do you feel? 

I know, there are a lot of questions in this post, but these are important questions. These are the questions we fail to answer. These are the questions we ignore. These are the questions, when answered honestly, will force us to make changes in how we live. We are afraid of these questions because we are afraid of what the answers will do. I say it is time to stop being afraid and start answering them. Yes, things may get more difficult once you start, but no one ever said this was going to be easy.

What would you do if money was no object?  

Yes

Why are we so afraid of hearing the word no? Why do we let the thought of being told no stop us from asking the questions we want to ask? How can one simple, short word be so scary? What horrible things will happen when someone dares to utter it?

Our fears are rarely rational. Being afraid of the word no is entirely irrational. You should be pushing forward so hard that you hear no over and over every day. Ask the difficult questions. Chase after the things you really want. Put in the work and grab hold of your goals and dreams. Being told no is part of life and you don't need to fear it. Ask for so many things each day that you grow comfortable hearing the word no...though never be satisfied with it. No is not the end of the world. No is not the worst thing that can happen.

If you stop fearing no, how many more questions will you ask? Ask for a raise. Ask for a new job. Ask the person you respect to mentor you. Ask that girl or guy out on a date. Ask for a better price on anything you buy. Ask your customer to purchase more. Ask that person for a reference. Ask for an upgrade. Ask for people to follow you. Ask for support. Ask for anything you want or need. What most people forget is the more they ask, the more chances they have for a yes. If your fear of no stops you from asking, you have no shot at yes. It's time we quit letting our fears stop us before we get started.

Today, take one of the questions you have been putting off due to fear and ask it. What do you really have to lose?