Your Life Is Passing Before Your Eyes

Life is way too short to care what everyone else thinks.
Be you. Do what you think is right. Live the life you want to live.
Forget about the haters, they will always hate.
Surround yourself with people who support you, but also challenge you to be better.
Continue to learn and grow.
Love fully, dream big, live happily, embrace change.

Analyze This

It's a strange feeling, sitting at home on a Monday morning---not having anything to do and not having anywhere to be. It's been a long, long time since I could sit, relax, slow down and spend time on me. It has also been a while since I wrote anything on a regular basis. I have gotten so caught up with work and exercise and I just stopped writing. While I may never get back to blogging on as regular a basis as before, I will be writing more in the upcoming months...

The sad part is it is only 8:00am on the first Monday I have had off this year and I feel like I haven't been productive enough. I have a really hard time slowing down...I feel like I always need something to do. Part of this could be from school...getting busy work to "utilize" time. Part of this could be from previous jobs...the need to make sure the boss doesn't catch you "slacking". Part of this could be because I don't always like where my thoughts go when they wander...questioning why I do or don't do certain things. While reflecting and analyzing are good things to do, they can also be very difficult.

Did I make the right decisions? Did I do the right things? Am I living the life I want to live? What would have happened if I did things differently? Are things going to work out the way I hope? Will they work out at all? What could I have done differently? Did I give it my best shot? Did I give it enough time?

Asking these types of questions is both difficult and important. While we don't want to dwell on everything we do, we should take time to reflect. Some of the questions you aren't going to be able to answer...some have no real answers as we can't know about things we didn't do. Some are questions to help guide where you go next. Some are there to help you learn.

We're going to make good decisions and we are going to make bad decisions. There is nothing we can do to change this. By reflecting on the decisions we make, we can gain knowledge to use as we move forward and make more. The key is to keep moving forward, no matter what. Sometimes we have to just embrace the chaos going on around us. Sometimes we have to jump and get as far away from it as we can. But, more often than not, we have to do both (though doing both will often mean different things to each of us). What chaos do you need to embrace? What will you do today to keep moving forward?

It's Never Too Late

It's been nearly three months since I posted anything here and I am not sure how regular my posts will be, now that I have started again. I would love to say I will post three times a week or daily, but I just don't know. I started this blog a couple of years ago as a way to remind myself (and you) of the things that are important in life and how we should be doing them/living in a different way from what I am. I'm not sure if this blog was serving it's purpose or if the purpose has been transformed into something else. Only time will tell...

These last couple of months have been a little crazy. Lot's of things have changed and I have let some of the changes bother me more than I should. Have you ever had the type of change where you felt as if you went from being part of the team to being on the periphery? It's hard not to let this feeling bother you, but the best thing you can do is just let go. Change is always going to happen and it only has the control we give it. Emotion has a place in our lives, but it shouldn't run our lives. Anytime we are feeling frustrated or angry or sad over "little" things, we have to find a way to let go and move forward. These emotions aren't going to help us advance and will only cause us to dwell on things we don't need to dwell on.

I just returned from helping in Oklahoma City after the tornado. Helping with disaster response always reminds me of how quickly our lives can change. How many of us are living the life we actually want to live? How many of us are doing the things we want to do? How many of us are putting up with way too much shit because we are afraid to make changes? If you knew catastrophic change was going to happen in the next day or month or year, would you continue to live the life you currently lead?

Don't feel despair for what you haven't done, but make changes to live the life you want. If the people around you can't help you lead the life you want, then find new people and surround yourself with them. (I guarantee there are already some people around you who can help...you have been surrounding yourself with them without really knowing it). It's okay to change. It's okay to be different. It's okay to do what you need to do to live the life you want. No matter what you do, you aren't going to make everyone happy. Knowing this, doesn't it make sense to live your life in the ways that make you happy?

Change happens. We can't let change drag us down. Embrace the change and use it to live the life you want to live. Find the people who bring out the best in you and hold on to them tightly. Let everyone else go. Life is way too precious to be unhappy. Start doing what matters to you and stop worrying what everyone else thinks. Be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do. It's never too late to start.    

What Role Do You Play?

As a "huge" snowstorm continues to head towards Kansas City, it makes me think of the roles we all play. Some of us will go in early to make sure work gets done. Some of us will sleep in. Some of us will just work from home. Some of us will bitch and moan about how difficult the snow makes things. Some of us will welcome the snow. Some of us will stock up on food and water. Some of us won't worry about anything. Some of us will spend this time with friends. Some of us will spend this time alone. Some of us will not venture out at all. Some of us will go sledding.

We all have a role we play. What's your role? Do you like it? If not, what do you need to do to change it?

Keep Your Coins

Today, your life is going to change. The change might be monumental or it could be minimal, but today will be different than yesterday and tomorrow will be different than today. How are you going to react to this change?

Maybe you will be scared of the change. Maybe you will run and hide and hope nothing really changes. Maybe you will do everything in your power to keep things exactly as they are. Maybe you like the way things are and even if your life isn't exciting or passionate, you are content. Maybe you will shirk from opportunity.

Maybe you will embrace the change that comes along. Hell, maybe you will encourage the change and cause your own changes to happen. Maybe you will realize life isn't meant to be played safe. Maybe you will take risks. Maybe you will try new things. Maybe you will run with whatever life hands you. Maybe you will be excited for something new.

No matter what you do, today is going to be different. Tomorrow will too. Each day to come will be different than the last. Since change is already going to happen, wouldn't it be great if we learned to embrace it? Wouldn't it be great if we could welcome it and work our asses off to actually change things for the better?

Well, what exactly are we waiting for?

What Will Make This Week Better?

It's Monday morning and as you are getting ready for the week ahead, what are you going to do to make it better? What are you going to do to make this week different? What are you going to do to step out of your comfort zone? Here's a short list of ideas to get you going:

• Do something that scares you
• Go out of your way to make someone happy
• Learn something new
• Start a new project
• Make time to read
• Focus on smiling
• Meditate
• Exercise
• Make "to do" lists every morning
• Volunteer
• Buy a homeless person lunch
• Start a conversation with a stranger
• Get enough sleep
• Eat a healthy meal every day
• Listen to people

In all honesty, it doesn't really matter what you do, just as long as you are doing something. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Stop wasting time and start doing what you need to do to live the life you want. Start today. What are you going to do?

It's Up To You

Change happens.

It's up to you to decide if the change is good or bad. It's up to you to decide how you react. It's up to you to take control of any situation. It's up to you to figure out how to make the best out of anything. It's up to you.

Start acting like it.

The Itch

I'm in a bit of a holding pattern at work and I am starting to get the itch. I get the itch every now and again, but I haven't really listened to it since I was in my twenties. Then, when I did listen to it, I moved from my hometown to Syracuse. This led to additional moves and before I ended up back here five years later, I lived in five different states and had a lot of great experiences while I was gone. While everything wasn't always unicorns and rainbows during this period, I did have a lot of great times.

So, every now and then, I get the itch. Times are a little different now, though. I own a house. I have a good job (coming up, especially). My family is in this town and my wife's family is within a short drive. But, I still wonder what life would be like if I moved to the mountains or out West (I've spent enough time on the East Coast) or to another country (though this would be much more difficult with the dogs and cat).

Would I be able to get a job? Could I sell the house? Is the job here good enough to be worth staying? Would I be running away from things here or just looking for something new? Would I find something better than I have now or just something different? Would it be worth the effort? What else is out there?

I don't know the answer to these questions and I am pretty sure I will ignore the itch this time around. Will the itch come back? I don't know and if it does, I have no idea how I will react that time, either. In my life, I have felt the itch a lot, but I haven't listened to it nearly as many times as I have. Maybe I should listen to it more often...

What kind of "itch" do you get? What do you do?

Change Happens

Change happens.  It's all around us...things are constantly changing every day. From small, imperceptible changes to monumental changes you can't help but notice, everything around us is in a constant state of change. Yet, we are terrified of change.

Wouldn't it be better to embrace, invite and chase change instead of fighting like hell against it?

What would happen if we just acknowledged that some change is going to be difficult, but we are just going to roll with it the best we can?

How would we feel differently if we were actively facilitating many of the changes happening in our life? Would they be less scary if we were part of the cause?

Change happens and is going to continue to happen every day. How are you going to react?

Give Thanks All Year Long

On the day after Thanksgiving (at least here in the US), it's hard not to be grateful for everything you have in your life. Many of us had the opportunity to spend time with some of the people we love and this morning we wake up giving thanks for the many things we have in our life. What if we felt and acknowledged this amount of gratitude every single day, instead of just occasionally throughout year? How would this change the way we lived our lives?

Why not try it out for the next month? Every morning when you wake up, make it a point to think of one thing for which you give thanks. Every night, right before you fall asleep, think about one think for which you are grateful that happened in your day. Super easy, right? This should take very little extra time each day, maybe only 30 seconds to a minute. Start and finish each day being grateful and see if it makes a difference in your life. If it doesn't, then you have only lost, at most, 30 minutes of time in your month.

If it does make a positive impact in your life, isn't spending one minute a day a great trade-off?

Scary

Things we fear:

• moving forward
• change
• stepping out of our comfort zone 
• speaking up 
• being true to ourselves
• standing out 
• not giving up 
• creating art 
• doing the work 
• taking chances 
• constantly trying to improve 
• admitting mistakes
• chasing dreams
• listening to instinct
• sharing with the world
• criticism
• praise   
• blazing your own path
• new ideas
• difficult conversations
• failure
• success

Things we must embrace:

• moving forward
• change
• stepping out of our comfort zone 
• speaking up 
• being true to ourselves
• standing out 
• not giving up 
• creating art 
• doing the work 
• taking chances 
• constantly trying to improve 
• admitting mistakes
• chasing dreams
• listening to instinct
• sharing with the world
• criticism
• praise   
• blazing your own path
• new ideas
• difficult conversations
• failure
• success

Stop Complaining

Every day, I hear people complaining about the things that are without doing anything to change them. I do a lot of this complaining myself. The thing is, complaining doesn't change anything. Complaining doesn't get people to do things better. Complaining doesn't show people a better way to do something. Complaining doesn't put you in a positive mood and complaining certainly doesn't help you get things done. Complaining does demotivate you and demotivates everyone around you.

If you don't like something, then change it. Don't complain about it, change it. This is a simple concept, but one most people will never grasp. We feel better when we complain and people listen. It takes work to actually make changes, but complaining is easy. We might have to have difficult conversations to make changes, but complaining allows us to have easy bitch sessions. We may have to hold ourselves to a higher standard to make changes, but complaining allows us to feel like we did something when we really didn't. We may have to eliminate something we like to make changes, but with complaining, we can convince ourselves that we don't really need to anything.

Stop complaining. If you don't like something, then work on changing it. Putting in the work and making change isn't going to be as easy as complaining, but it's going to make you feel a lot better. It will also help you improve. Quit whining and start working towards making things the way you think they should be. If we all stop complaining and start calling each other on it when we do, we will all have an amazing shot at success.

Start today. If you feel the need to complain or you catch yourself complaining about anything, stop, think about what you can do to make things change AND do whatever it takes to make the change. Have the difficult conversation, exercise more, study longer, watch less television, do some extra work, eat a little less, write more, say no, quit your job, take that chance, ask for help, ask the person out...do whatever it takes to make the change you need to make. Try it for one month. At the end of October, look back on you month and see if things improved. See if you feel better about yourself and the life you live. See if the lack of complaining changes your outlook and your motivation. Try it for one month...if it doesn't do anything, you can always go back to bitching and moaning about everything.

Personally, I would rather get shit done.

Change Your Thoughts

Simple enough, eh? This advice is anything but simple to institute in your life. It is something you have to constantly work at, but will make all the difference. Your thoughts control your world. The way you view yourself, other people, the things happening around you, really everything, controls the world in which you live.

Everything you will ever do starts with thoughts. If you want to live a positive, happy life, then you have to start with positive, happy thoughts. The more you dwell on the negatives, the more unhappy you will be. It looks simple from the outside, but you have to constantly remind yourself to not dwell on the negative things that happen (or at least what you currently view as the negative things). You will never change the world for the better until you change your thoughts for the better. 

Choose to be happy. Choose to believe in yourself. Choose to laugh more. Choose to see the best in the people around you. Choose to view the "negative" occurrences as nothing more than challenges. Choose to chase your dreams. Choose to cultivate a passion in what you do. Choose to push forward. Choose to learn something new every day. Choose to be open to change. Choose to embrace the world around you. Choose to find the positive in everything.Choose to make your world one in which you are excited each morning and exhausted each night. 

You have power to change your world. What choices will you make?

Potential

The sad fact is the vast majority of people never reach their full potential. Many of us never will. We don't push ourselves. We don't try new things. We don't keep searching. We settle. We think tangible things matter. We stay away from the things that scare us. We resist change. We stop learning. We spend more time in front of the television. We don't read enough. We shy away from challenges. We ignore our dreams. We stop listening to our heart. We give up.

Why do we do this? It's easier. We're afraid. Doing something new or scary takes courage and we don't know what will happen. We like knowing the outcome before we start. We want to know what will happen if we do A or B. Not knowing scares the shit out of us. It's easier to stand still or do what we have always done.

Allowing this fear to take over breeds complacency and laziness. Once it takes over, it becomes harder and harder to make changes. You convince yourself that you are living the life you should, but the little voice inside of you disagrees. You still have dreams, you have just gotten better at ignoring them. Many people can go through the rest of their lives like this. They can believe they are content, without coming anywhere close to their full potential.

But, even these folks feel the doubt. For them, it doesn't come along as often, but every now and again they will catch themselves wondering if their is something more out there. They will often forget these thoughts as quickly as they come, but they still have them. You have these thoughts. I have these thoughts. We all do. Having them doesn't matter nearly as much as how we react to them. Ignoring them is never the answer. We have to become better at listening to our heart and mind.

When you wonder, do something. This is the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Do something that scares you. Learn something new. Turn off the television and get some exercise, spend more time thinking, read a book, have a conversation with someone. Just do something different. The further we push ourselves, the closer we come to realizing our potential. You will never know what you are capable of until you have given it your all. What really scares you? Get out there and do it!

Collection of Random Short Thoughts

I know there are a lot of people out there who hate lists. If you are one, you can stop reading now as this post is going to turn in to a list. I have been doing a lot of thinking this last week, which I know is normal when anyone is dealing with loss. I wanted to be able to string together everything I have been thinking about into one blog post, but my mind keeps bouncing all over the place and anything I write does too. Instead, here is a list of some of the things I have been thinking about. Some of these may be blog topics in the future, but many express what they need to express in a sentence or two.

• Spend more time with those you love. These are the times that really matter in life.
• Spend more time doing things you love to do and less time doing the things you hate.
• Take time every day (or at least once a week) to just think. 
• If you hate your job, quit.
• If you like your job, then work your ass off to do the best work possible.
• The culture of a company is built by the people. If the culture isn't right, then the people aren't right.
• Embrace change, especially when it brings more work for you.
• Try new, little things each day. This will make it easier to embrace big changes.
• Don't automatically reject new ideas.
• Be honest and straightforward with people, even if it seems painful. Difficult conversation are usually important conversations.
• Stop worrying about everything.
• Don't hold back. If you have an idea (no matter how crazy), speak up. 
• Be more active. It's amazing how much better you can feel if you just get a little exercise each day.
• Stop talking about doing things as much and actually start doing them.
• Figure out what you need to change to become a person you can love and then make the changes.
• Believe in yourself and be confident, but not an egotistical asshole. It's a fine line and one you need to find.
• Feel free to be different, if that is who you are. 
• Have fun. If you aren't having fun, then figure out what needs to change so you can.
• Laugh as much as possible. Don't take things so seriously.
• Things will work out in the end. It may not be the way you want them to work out, but you can only do so much.
• Encourage the people around you by believing in them.
• Friendship and loyalty are expressed in deeds, not words.
• Don't be afraid to let go and move on. Don't dwell on the bullshit of the past.
• Nothing is impossible.
• Chase your dreams, no matter how crazy they are. You are in control of your life.
• Follow your heart...it already knows where you should go.

Change Yourself

We all say we want to change this world for the better, but we rarely make changes in our own lives. We want everyone else to change to make things better. The problem is, no one is going to change for you. As much as you might want it to happen, it won't. People make changes for their own reasons, not yours. You make changes for your own reasons.

We like to think on a global scale, but forget to look at ourselves to see what we can do to help make the world a better place, even just a little bit. In the same way, we look to improve relationships by hoping others will change instead of realizing that if we want things to improve, we have to change. We have to change our outlook or expectations or behavior. We have control of these aspects of life and can actually make change, instead of constantly hoping the other person will do what we want. Look inside and make the changes you can.

We all want to change the world, but sometimes we have to settle for changing our little piece of the world. Lead by example. Be the change you want to see and encourage others, but know they still may not change. You can only do so much, but take control over what you can. If everyone would spend their time changing what they can instead of spending all their time worrying about what everyone else does, we may actually change the world in the process.

You Get Out Of Life...

What you get out of life is equal to what you put into life. Every day, many of us wish we were getting more out of life. We want more happiness or more money or more experiences or more free time or more freedom, but we don't do anything differently than we have before. We hope something will change, yet we don't do anything to cause change.

If you want more, you have to do more. If you want something different, you have to do something different. Happiness, success, money, experience, free time and freedom are not going to fall out of the sky and land in our laps. We can't sit around hoping that things will change or get better.

If you sleepwalk through life and spend most of your time in front of the stupid box, then you are going to continue to sleepwalk through life. You are going to continue to complain about the things you don't have that you want. Yes, we hear stories about people who win the lottery or receive amazing windfalls without seemingly doing anything to deserve it, but these are the exceptions, not the rule. The chances of you getting everything you want without doing anything are minuscule. Doing nothing to change your life is only going to cause nothing to change.

We have to be bold. We have to go after everything we want. When we dream big, we have to live big. We have to fight tooth and nail to go after the things we want if we are ever going to have the chance to get them. If you want to be a writer, then you have to write, a lot, and put your writing out there so people can read it. If you want to be famous, you have to work your ass off to get in front of a camera or an audience and do something great. If you want to have more money, then you need to figure out how to work smarter to get it.

If you want something new, you may have to cut out something else. If you want more free time, then turn off the television and make more free time. If you want to focus on your art, then you may have to give up the job you are working and the money you are used to. If you want to be happier, then you have to find what makes you happy and do it more. If you want your life to be different, then you need to change the life you are living.

This isn't going to be easy for any of us. Every great reward comes from doing the hard work. The things that really matter to us take time and effort. You won't wake up one morning being an accomplished writer or knowing a foreign language or having lost weight or being able to run a marathon. Can you do all of these things? Yes, but you have to put in the work to make it happen. No one ever said life was going to be easy. We aren't given everything we want. The overnight success worked for years to get there.

Today is the day you stop wishing everything would work out the way you want it and instead start making it work out. Do something new. Try something different. Boldly push forward and see what you can get out of life when you put in something different. Instead of just dreaming, go after your dreams. Be bold. Be daring. Be different. Do something that really matters to you and start fighting for what you want. It's the only way you are ever going to get it.

Permission

I give myself permission to be happy.
I give myself permission to be myself.
I give myself permission to do the things that scare me.
I give myself permission to live the life I am supposed to live.
I give myself permission to stop caring about what other people think.
I give myself permission to do the things I enjoy.
I give myself permission to follow my dreams.
I give myself permission to take chances.
I give myself permission to make mistakes.
I give myself permission to change the things needing to be changed.

Many times, if we really look at it, we are doing things other people want us to do. We are living the life other people want us to live. We are following the dreams of others. We care too much what other people think about our choices, our ideas, our dreams and our beliefs. We are afraid of what they think when we speak up or challenge an idea or do anything that may differ from the norm. Instead of living for ourself and finding our happiness, we do what we are supposed to do and feel what we are supposed to feel. Life doesn't have to be like this.

We are in control of ourselves, no more and no less. With the ability to only change our piece of reality, we have the choice to either do so or keep things as they are. We have the right to be who we are and do the things we want to do and follow our dreams and make mistakes and take chances and be happy. We have the right to live the life we are supposed to live. Will this make everyone around us happy? If it does, who cares? If it doesn't, who cares? If you are anything like me, it is time to stop living life trying to make everyone else happy and start figuring out how to live the life that will make you happy.

We are all creative and intelligent people who bring to this world a unique view as no one has ever had the same experiences we have. We have a lot to offer and it is imperative we offer it. All great things start with someone taking a chance, overcoming their fear and doing what they believe needs to be done. We learn from our mistakes and stop caring what everyone else thinks. We live our life in the way we believe is right. As we hit our waning years, we are going to look back on life and remember the things we did or didn't do, not what the people around us thought. I want to look back and smile, don't you?

Adapt to the Situation

Early this morning, I was driving to work to turn off the fire alarm caused by a faulty smoke detector and I was frustrated. At first, I thought I was frustrated with the alarm or the faulty detector or the fact that I was going to work at 3:00am instead of in bed sleeping, but after some thought, I realized I was frustrated because my routine was thrown into disarray.

As I have written before, I am a huge proponent of routines. I believe they help to get more done, be more creative and just make life a little easier to live. A good routine helps us to do more of the things we often put off. The more we get up to exercise in the morning, the easier it becomes. A routine is a little added motivation to help accomplish what we want to accomplish.

I have to get better at not feeling frustration when my routine is knocked around. Things are always going to happen. It may be a fire alarm in the middle of the night or a flat tire or anything else that can come up and change the direction of my day. Getting frustrated when this happens does no good and won’t change things. I must get better at allowing these swerves to happen without being affected.

Allowing ourselves to roll with the punches will open us up to more experiences and ideas. When we aren’t in our routine and okay with whatever happens, we never know what opportunities will cross our paths. While a routine may help us to get things accomplished, sometimes stepping out of the routine will lead us in a new and exciting direction we never saw coming Other times, it will just be a trip to work for a couple of hours, a little less sleep, a later than usual Friday blog and a change in routine. It’s not always going to be easy or fun, but getting frustrated isn’t going to change anything. When we are open to and accepting of the changes, how much more can we learn, enjoy or do?

What opportunities will we miss if we are blinded by frustration?

"You can avoid having ulcers by adapting to the situation: If you fall in the mud puddle, check your pockets for fish."  

Remember Why

For those of us constantly searching, how do you slow your mind down and focus on the tasks at hand? How do you find the motivation and the drive to do what you do? Just because the motivation wanes, we don't have to run from one thing to the next. Motivation will get lost from time to time. Every now and again, we will question what it is we do and why we do it. Hell, we might question it every day, but we will still get up each morning to do it again. Why?

For many of us, we have passion for what we do, but it isn't the passion we want to have. We want to jump out of bed every morning excited to attack the work. We want to have an endless supply of motivation and positive feelings about the work we do. Some people may have this, but for most of us, we don't. That's okay. The problems start when we begin to dwell on the fact we aren't feeling what we want to feel. We don't want to admit we may not ever feel what we want to feel because we may not be wired to feel it or we may not let ourselves feel it.

It's okay to do work you aren't over the top passionate about all the time. Everyone has their ups and downs and everyone has doubts. We can question what we do or who we are over and over again, but questioning alone changes nothing. Constantly changing focus when the motivation wanes also changes nothing. There will be times when you have to push through the lack of motivation and keep on doing the work at hand. The motivation may come back or it may not. The majority of the time, it does come back. 

For most of us, there was a reason we started doing the work we are doing. Do you remember why you do what you do? Picture why you started. Picture your goals and dreams as it applies to what you do. Picture a good day. When you are having the down times, is there something you can do to help you remember these things? Write down what you pictured and have it in an accessible place. When you feel the motivation wane or you don't want to do it anymore, pull it out and read what you pictured. This may just give you the boost you need to get through the day. Tomorrow will always be a new day.