Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Yesterday, I wrote about how we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Continuing with this same thought, we also spend way too much time judging others.
I guarantee, wherever you work, there is gossip. We constantly talk about the actions or thoughts of other people and how we agree, or more likely, disagree with them. We judge people everyday, often without even realizing what we are doing.
How can someone drive that fast? Why in the world would he leave all this work for me to do? Why can't they just do their job and quit talking? Why doesn't she brush his teeth more? How dare they lie to me! Why can't they just do their work? How could someone wear that out of the house? How can someone still smoke? How does someone eat that crap? What the hell is wrong with them?
We spend way too much time thinking about the actions of others and coming up with reasons why they should or shouldn't do something. The truth is none of us are perfect. There are literally millions of sayings and quotes dealing with this subject. None of us can really get in head of someone else, so we can't know the motivations of the people we are judging. Try giving people the benefit of the doubt.
We all have different motivations and passions and thought patterns and things we are dealing with. Maybe the person speeding and weaving through traffic is trying to get to the hospital because a loved one is dying. Maybe the person who didn't get all their tasks done and left some work for you was just served divorce papers. Maybe the person who lied to you didn't realize they were lying.
Every one of us makes mistakes. We all do things every day that someone else wouldn't do. We usually have our reasons for doing it, things no one else can really understand. We don't like to be judged, so why do we take so much pleasure in judging others? What makes us think we are better than any other person we meet?
We are all unique. We do things differently. Every set of circumstances is different. No two people faced with the same circumstances are going to do the exact same thing. Stop expecting every one else to do things the way you do. Stop believing that if you did something, everyone else can do the exact same thing in the exact same way.
This doesn't mean we can't have discussions about disagreements or things not getting done or ways to do things. These discussions shouldn't be about either person, but about the situation at hand. Take the ego out of it. Stop taking things personally. Worry more about living your life instead of criticizing others for the way they live theirs.