Your Life Is Your Life

As you go through your day, what is holding you back from doing exactly what you want to do? If you look around you, how many of the people who work with you are doing what they want to do? How many have settled? How many are just looking for a paycheck? How many are feeding their ego? How many are truly excited to get up in the morning and attack the day? What causes us to work jobs we really don't like to buy shit we really don't need or want?

You are probably sitting there thinking that you aren't one of these people...you love your job and are doing good work to advance a great cause. Are you really? If you were completely honest with yourself, would you be doing exactly what you are doing now? If the answer is yes, then great! You are one step further along than most of us.

Hell, most of us don't even really know what we want to do. So, we settle and work a job we like, but don't love. We do work we convince ourselves is important or make money to help fund the things we think are important. What if we can do both? What if we can make enough money to fund the life we want while doing work we think is important? Is it even possible?

For some, yes, I think it is. It's not for everyone, but not everyone has the need to do this. Not everyone feels frustrated when they are only content. Not everyone continues to search for something more and better. Not everyone has the same urge to continue to push forward. Some people are happy doing whatever will pay the bills so they can have the house in the suburbs, the 2.3 kids and the family dog. There is nothing wrong with this and deep down, I envy these people. I'm just not one of them and since you are still reading, I would guess you aren't either.

What can we do? Keep wandering. Keep searching for the answers to your questions. Keep looking for what you need. Stop following other people's dreams and desires. Be different. Be who you need to be. Stop listening to the fear in your mind. Start following your heart more. Don't settle. Try new things. Don't let others try to mold you into something you are not. Forgive the people who don't understand. Be a nomad, if only in your heart. Know the constructs of society don't have to be followed. Your life is your life, live it as such. Be bold...be brave...be free.

Keep Your Coins

Today, your life is going to change. The change might be monumental or it could be minimal, but today will be different than yesterday and tomorrow will be different than today. How are you going to react to this change?

Maybe you will be scared of the change. Maybe you will run and hide and hope nothing really changes. Maybe you will do everything in your power to keep things exactly as they are. Maybe you like the way things are and even if your life isn't exciting or passionate, you are content. Maybe you will shirk from opportunity.

Maybe you will embrace the change that comes along. Hell, maybe you will encourage the change and cause your own changes to happen. Maybe you will realize life isn't meant to be played safe. Maybe you will take risks. Maybe you will try new things. Maybe you will run with whatever life hands you. Maybe you will be excited for something new.

No matter what you do, today is going to be different. Tomorrow will too. Each day to come will be different than the last. Since change is already going to happen, wouldn't it be great if we learned to embrace it? Wouldn't it be great if we could welcome it and work our asses off to actually change things for the better?

Well, what exactly are we waiting for?

What Will Make This Week Better?

It's Monday morning and as you are getting ready for the week ahead, what are you going to do to make it better? What are you going to do to make this week different? What are you going to do to step out of your comfort zone? Here's a short list of ideas to get you going:

• Do something that scares you
• Go out of your way to make someone happy
• Learn something new
• Start a new project
• Make time to read
• Focus on smiling
• Meditate
• Exercise
• Make "to do" lists every morning
• Volunteer
• Buy a homeless person lunch
• Start a conversation with a stranger
• Get enough sleep
• Eat a healthy meal every day
• Listen to people

In all honesty, it doesn't really matter what you do, just as long as you are doing something. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Stop wasting time and start doing what you need to do to live the life you want. Start today. What are you going to do?

Who are you?

Who are you? Who are you really? Many of us have so many personae that we have forgotten who we actually are. (I have told people for years that I am an asshole and I don't really care what people think of me.) We're afraid to show our true identities to the people around us. Why is this? Part of it is because we don't trust the people around us, at least not fully, and part of it is because we afraid of what these people will think of the true us (and I am sure there are other parts to the problem).

We want to fit in. We want to be a part of the "cool crowd." We want to be a leader or a manager or an artist or a gatekeeper or a star or a writer or anything else we can think of. We want to easily fit into a slot that any of these names will fit, even if it isn't who we are truly meant to be. We want people to understand us and respect us for who we are, even if we aren't really showing them who this is. We want to be just like them.

Our education systems drove out any and all individuality and creativity we had. If any small amount somehow survived school, it was quickly squashed during our first job. We're afraid to be an outlier. We're afraid to stand out. We're afraid of being labeled as different or strange or weird. This is all normal. These fears have been pounded into our heads for as long as we can remember. We know what it feels like to be bullied. While our fears make sense, they are holding us back from doing what we really want to do and what we are capable of doing.

No matter what we say or think we believe, there is always going to be a part of us that cares what other people think of us. What we fail to realize is there are always going to be people who like who we are and what we offer and those who hate who we are and what we have to offer. If this is going to be the case, wouldn't it be better to be true to who we are? We don't have to fit in with the "in" crowd. We can find our own crowd or start our own crowd.

You don't have to hide who you are. If people don't like you, that's their problem. It's okay to believe in yourself. It's okay to be a little arrogant. It's okay to have an ego. It's okay to believe your are right. If you are being true to yourself, then you are right. If the people around you don't agree, then oh well. Why should you care? There is never going to be just one right answer...your right isn't always theirs and their right isn't always yours.

Be you. Believe in this you. Stand up and speak loudly about anything you want to stand up and speak loudly about. Have opinions and share them. We're not going to create anything amazing by fitting in, following the crowd and not questioning things happening around us. Creativity doesn't come from being comfortable and always being true to yourself is usually uncomfortable.

Be proudly you. Be loudly you. Be you, not the one person other people think you should be. Speak your mind. Solve the problems in ways you think will work best, even if they are problems no one else sees. If you want a different outcome, then do things differently. Stop fearing being different or strange or unique or loud or weird or angry or happy or anything else you fear about yourself. Give this world you.

It's going to be scary. It will probably be hard. You are going to make some people angry. You are going to make some people happy. You will be called names and you will be looked up to. You will be right and you will be wrong. Through it all, just be you.

Who are you?

You Get Out Of Life...

What you get out of life is equal to what you put into life. Every day, many of us wish we were getting more out of life. We want more happiness or more money or more experiences or more free time or more freedom, but we don't do anything differently than we have before. We hope something will change, yet we don't do anything to cause change.

If you want more, you have to do more. If you want something different, you have to do something different. Happiness, success, money, experience, free time and freedom are not going to fall out of the sky and land in our laps. We can't sit around hoping that things will change or get better.

If you sleepwalk through life and spend most of your time in front of the stupid box, then you are going to continue to sleepwalk through life. You are going to continue to complain about the things you don't have that you want. Yes, we hear stories about people who win the lottery or receive amazing windfalls without seemingly doing anything to deserve it, but these are the exceptions, not the rule. The chances of you getting everything you want without doing anything are minuscule. Doing nothing to change your life is only going to cause nothing to change.

We have to be bold. We have to go after everything we want. When we dream big, we have to live big. We have to fight tooth and nail to go after the things we want if we are ever going to have the chance to get them. If you want to be a writer, then you have to write, a lot, and put your writing out there so people can read it. If you want to be famous, you have to work your ass off to get in front of a camera or an audience and do something great. If you want to have more money, then you need to figure out how to work smarter to get it.

If you want something new, you may have to cut out something else. If you want more free time, then turn off the television and make more free time. If you want to focus on your art, then you may have to give up the job you are working and the money you are used to. If you want to be happier, then you have to find what makes you happy and do it more. If you want your life to be different, then you need to change the life you are living.

This isn't going to be easy for any of us. Every great reward comes from doing the hard work. The things that really matter to us take time and effort. You won't wake up one morning being an accomplished writer or knowing a foreign language or having lost weight or being able to run a marathon. Can you do all of these things? Yes, but you have to put in the work to make it happen. No one ever said life was going to be easy. We aren't given everything we want. The overnight success worked for years to get there.

Today is the day you stop wishing everything would work out the way you want it and instead start making it work out. Do something new. Try something different. Boldly push forward and see what you can get out of life when you put in something different. Instead of just dreaming, go after your dreams. Be bold. Be daring. Be different. Do something that really matters to you and start fighting for what you want. It's the only way you are ever going to get it.

Judging

Yesterday, I wrote about how we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Continuing with this same thought, we also spend way too much time judging others.

I guarantee, wherever you work, there is gossip. We constantly talk about the actions or thoughts of other people and how we agree, or more likely, disagree with them. We judge people everyday, often without even realizing what we are doing.

How can someone drive that fast? Why in the world would he leave all this work for me to do? Why can't they just do their job and quit talking? Why doesn't she brush his teeth more? How dare they lie to me! Why can't they just do their work? How could someone wear that out of the house? How can someone still smoke? How does someone eat that crap? What the hell is wrong with them?

We spend way too much time thinking about the actions of others and coming up with reasons why they should or shouldn't do something. The truth is none of us are perfect. There are literally millions of sayings and quotes dealing with this subject. None of us can really get in head of someone else, so we can't know the motivations of the people we are judging. Try giving people the benefit of the doubt.

We all have different motivations and passions and thought patterns and things we are dealing with. Maybe the person speeding and weaving through traffic is trying to get to the hospital because a loved one is dying. Maybe the person who didn't get all their tasks done and left some work for you was just served divorce papers. Maybe the person who lied to you didn't realize they were lying.

Every one of us makes mistakes. We all do things every day that someone else wouldn't do. We usually have our reasons for doing it, things no one else can really understand. We don't like to be judged, so why do we take so much pleasure in judging others? What makes us think we are better than any other person we meet?

We are all unique. We do things differently. Every set of circumstances is different. No two people faced with the same circumstances are going to do the exact same thing. Stop expecting every one else to do things the way you do. Stop believing that if you did something, everyone else can do the exact same thing in the exact same way.

This doesn't mean we can't have discussions about disagreements or things not getting done or ways to do things. These discussions shouldn't be about either person, but about the situation at hand. Take the ego out of it. Stop taking things personally. Worry more about living your life instead of criticizing others for the way they live theirs.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! In Kansas City, 2012 has dawned with beautiful blue skies and chilly temperatures (though by chilly, I mean cooler than it has been, but much warmer than usual). This year is going to bring many changes to all of our lives and I am sure we will all have our share of happiness and sadness.

Sitting here, drinking coffee on the morning of January 1, I think about everything 2012 has to offer. This is a year of endless possibilities. We may not be able to control everything it will bring, but this morning, we have a choice of which path we are going to start down. Do you want 2012 to be a repeat of 2011? Or, do you want to do something else, something different, something new this year? Whatever you decide to do, start moving forward today and let nothing stop you. Let's all make 2012 a year to remember!

Giving Thanks Part 2

What would happen if we, as a world society, expressed our gratitude every day instead of at random times selected by the calendar? Would there be more peace and less war? Would people be able to get along a little better, no matter their race, religion, color or nationality? Would we be more willing to work together to solve some of the major problems plaguing the world? Would we be more likely to care about HIV epidemics in Africa or starving children throughout the world or the homeless in our own cities and towns? Would the world be any different? Would you be any different?