Positivity Breeds Positivity

In this hectic world, it is very easy to become frustrated and negative very quickly each day. One thing can go wrong (the alarm doesn't go off, you're running late, the car doesn't start) and this throws us in to a tailspin of negative thoughts and frustration. This happens to everyone and once we are in this negative mindset, it can be really hard to pull ourselves out. Negativity breeds negativity. Once our mind is focused on the negative, we see it everywhere. One simple occurrence in the morning can ruin our entire day.

I have found a way to combat this and it sometimes works really well. When I start to get frustrated with something happening, I pause, take a few deep breaths, close my eyes and imagine something good. I think about my fiancee or my family or something funny that happened the day before. I try to pull myself out of the funk before it grabs hold. The interesting thing I have learned is positivity breeds positivity, too. If I can catch it soon enough or if I can focus on something positive each morning, I have better days. When I don't, I tend to have negative days. By knowing this, I can work towards having more good days than bad. As with everything we do, it takes work.

It Takes Work

Some mornings, when I sit to write a blog post, the words come pouring out of my fingers and I have no problems coming up with something to say. Other days, like today, I can sit and think and struggle with the words and thoughts and not know what I am going to write. Either way, I open up this blog and sit with my fingers poised above the keyboard and put in the time to do the work. I love to write and I am thrilled when people respond to or share my musings with others.

Like everyone else, I have my doubts. Many times, I have wondered if I should continue to write on this blog, even though I have only been doing this for a short period of time. I wonder if anyone would notice if I quit writing, if anyone would really care. We all go through periods wondering if what we do is really worth the time. We really are our own worst critic. We doubt and then we feel the fear and then we quit. I know I have followed this path more than I would ever care to admit. We start doing something we love and want to do. After a while, we realize what we love and want to do takes work and we may not be as good at it as we want.

I know this blog doesn't produce a ton of traffic. I know there are many other blogs with better writing, better thoughts and a better style. There is a very, very good possibility I will never have the best blog on the web. Hell, there is a good possibility I will never have a great blog. While I would love to have either or both of these (who wouldn't?), I write because I love to write. I blog because I love to blog. I put thoughts out in to the world to see if someone else can grab hold of them and make them better. Maybe some of the things I write will help people in their struggle towards their goals. Maybe people will love what they read and keep coming back to read more. As I continue to write, I know I will get better. I know I have to put in the work. I know each morning I will sit with my fingers over the keyboard and wait for the words to come pouring out. I hope this blog will help others. Even if it doesn't, I know it has helped me.

Turn Off The Television

Yesterday, I wrote about the importance of relaxing to revitalize your body and mind. While there are some people you know who seem to have endless energy and never need a break, I know most, if not all of us, need to take the time away to recharge and refocus if we want to create beautiful work. We have our own talents and skills and we have to find a way to connect these with what we want to do. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has goals. We start to fall short in reaching them when we don't understand how to leverage our talents for the greatest good.

Many people work in jobs where they are unable to (or have yet to figure out how to) use their talents and skills. They continue to toil away at this job to pay the bills and haven't connected the dots to figure out how to utilize what they offer to create a more lasting impact. In many cases, what we do outside of the daily job utilizes these skills and talents in ways we could never do within the work. We live in a society where we label each other based on what we do for a living. We have titles and ranks that may have nothing to do with what we can actually offer the world if we were using our skills and talents.

Many people feel stuck by their place in life because they are afraid to let go of what they have to try something different. They see their pay or their benefits and wonder if it is worth giving them all up to do something "crazy". This is a personal choice. But, it doesn't have to be the only choice we have. Many people create beautiful things while working a job to pay the bills. It's a good way to start, but requires motivation and dedication because it involves working outside of the work we do to pay the bills. It requires reorganizing your life and giving up some of the things we do after a long day (or in my case before a long day) of work.

We may hear this a lot, but turn off the television. Many of us spend so much time glued to this box watching things that don't really bring anything in to our lives. I used to be this person. I would DVR tons of shows and then spend my downtime catching up on the latest episodes of House or Survivor or anything else that looked good at the time. I would veg out in front of the television and the next thing I knew, I had been there for hours with nothing to show for my time except I could talk to other people who did the same thing about the shows we watched. I wasn't really growing or becoming a better person by doing it. I'm not saying you have to remove television completely from your life, but take control of the remote and spend some time creating instead of watching.

You have the ability to bring some beauty in to the world utilizing your skills and talents. The world deserves your creations. What if we could do something that brings a lasting impact, even if it is for just one other person? How would we feel? We have this ability. We just have to do instead of watch.

Relaxation

For many of us, we are constantly going. With laptops and smart phones, we are never really able to leave work behind. We are constantly checking e-mails or receiving phone calls or making lists of the things we need to do once we are back in the office. We are not giving our bodies and minds the rest, relaxation and recharging we need to be at our best.

I am as guilty as the rest...I am constantly checking my work e-mail or hopping on the database to see how the day is going while I am away. I receive and return phone calls on my off days and haven't taken a day completely away from work for longer than I would like to admit (and this was only because I was out of cell phone coverage). No matter where you work, there are always going to be coworkers who do not respect time off, do not take enough time off themselves and assume everyone is going to answer the phone when they call. Don't fall in to this trap. There is a reason voicemail was invented.

Instead, make sure you are giving yourself the time off you need. Turn off the phone, kick up your feet and read or listen to music or go out to dinner or go see a movie or do whatever it is you find relaxing. There are very, very few things that could happen at work requiring your attention on your time off. In some situations, this may not be possible, but you have to build time into your schedule for you. We are never going to be able to do our best work unless we give our bodies and our minds a chance to recharge. Take time for you and let things go. It's the only way to continue to do your best work.

Spoken Word

Sarah Kay is an amazing spoken word poet who gave this talk at TED. The Domino Project, in their wisdom, published this poem as their last work. I have to admit, I am a huge fan of spoken word poetry and have loved it for as long as I can remember. Following in the footsteps of the greats, including my favorite poet-Allen Ginsberg, spoken word poets touch our hearts and souls in ways other performance or written pieces can not.

Take a few moments to watch this video and think about purchasing the book, if for no other reason, then to remind people poetry is alive and well. Poetry can help us communicate and can reach out to touch the souls of other people. We all have stories to tell and I can think of no better way to tell them.

Stop Talking and Do

Seriously, how is it already December? Life is flying by and seems to fly by at a much faster rate the older I get. It feels like only yesterday we were celebrating 2011 coming in to existence. I look back at the last year and realize I have had a really good year, even if I didn't accomplish or do a lot of of the things I wish I had. For most people, this is true when we examine the year as it comes to a close.

Yesterday, I wrote about goal setting for the upcoming year and wondered how I would be able to accomplish more of the goals I set. Motivation and focus are the two important traits I need to stoke to actually do the things I want to do. With a little more work and a little more organization, I hope to do more in 2012 than I have been able to in other years. As December 2012 rolls around, I hope I can look back at the year and realize I did accomplish more of what I wanted to accomplish, as well as having another great year.

For me, and I am sure for many of you, we push our goals thinking they can be done tomorrow or next week or next month and we never seem to get to the point where we can start working towards them. For next year, one of my goals is to really focus on doing the things I want to do. I need to stop the procrastination and focus on really doing the work. I am not sure if I procrastinate because I am afraid of not being able to handle doing what I want, because I don't want to put in the work and then have the final product be less than I imagined or because I just think there will always be time. It's probably a mixture of the three.

I have to train my mind to realize there is no time better than now to focus on all of the things I want to do. The time is never going to be perfect and pushing off my goals is only going to end with never actually accomplishing the things I want to accomplish. I don't want to look back in December of 2015 or 2020 and wonder how I still didn't accomplish the things I am thinking about this year. There is always tomorrow is a mantra I have to remove from my vocabulary. I want to actually do everything on my list of goals and the only thing holding me back is me. As I look back at 2012, I want to see the year when I learned to do instead of just talking about it.    

Goals for 2012

As we quickly race towards 2012, I am thinking a lot about goal setting. For the first time in my life, I want to have personal goals defined for things I want to do, learn and experience in the coming year. I have often done this type of goal setting at work, but this is the first time I have done it in my personal life. I know some of the goals are measurable and some are not, but they are all going to be goals. These goals touch on things I have been talking about doing for years, but never have focused on accomplishing. My hope is by setting goals, there will be a little extra motivation to stop talking and actually start doing.

Do any of you set personal goals for each year? These are not New Year's resolutions as I have found these often fall by the wayside before January comes to a close. I have started writing down some goals I have for next year and during this next month, I will add and subtract and figure out how my priorities lie. I will have no problem coming up with the goals, but I do have concerns I will let the year slide by without focusing on many of them. If you are a goal-oriented person, what tips do you have to keep these goals in the front of your mind?

The idea I have come up with, but not yet decided on, is to make a schedule of focus for the coming year. I will take the goals I want to hit and then figure out the best way to fit them in during year, while keeping in mind big upcoming big dates, October 13, 2012, and events happening throughout the year. I can print out this schedule and have it hanging throughout the house to remind me of where my focus should be each and every day. I have not decided how much of my list I will make public, though I know I am more likely to stick to the schedule if other people know what I am supposed to be doing.

Do any of you have thoughts, ideas or tips on setting goals, reaching your goals or keeping your goals a priority?

Frustration

Many of us spend way too much of our time being frustrated by things we have little to no control over. We get frustrated by traffic; we get frustrated by things people say or do; we get frustrated by the things people do not say or do; we get frustrated when our order in a restaurant is wrong; we get frustrated with the weather; we get frustrated when the cable goes out; we get frustrated when electronics aren't working properly. We spend so much time being frustrated over little things and let these frustrations ruin our day.

Every day, something we don't want to happen is going to happen. We have to learn to ignore these little things or fix them without getting frustrated when they happen. We have to start looking for the good instead of dwelling on the bad. The key is to learn to not only let go of these frustrations, but to learn how to keep them from frustrating us at all. We have to find a different mindset, one where we focus on the good things happening and not on the bad. We have to relax and realize most of our frustrations stem from circumstances out of our control. We have to let go and let whatever happens happens. If it is good, celebrate. If is is bad, figure out how to fix it (if we can) and continue moving forward.

Frustration brings little good to our lives and easily compounds. Once we allow something to become frustrating, we begin to notice more and more things which frustrate us. Instead, early in every day, find something going well and think about how good we feel knowing this. As we get better noticing the good, we will start to see these good things compounding more and more and we will begin to feel less frustration for the others. Finding the good isn't always as easy because we have to focus our minds to notice the good and resist the urge to focus on the bad. Our days will never be perfect, but the people who have more good days than bad do this by focusing more on the good. Lots of little things happen throughout our days, isn't it better to spend our time focusing on and celebrating the good? With less frustration, how much more can we accomplish each and every day?

Confidence

For many people, confidence can be very difficult to come by. This is not feeling we are superior, but feeling we are doing the right thing or a good job. Many people will wonder if they are doing good enough work or leading people in the right direction and worry they are not doing either well. Even if we have faith in our abilities, it can be hard to truly believe we are doing good work.

I often see lack of confidence in the way I take things people say as being negative when it is not meant as such. When our confidence wains, we will often assume innocuous comments are meant as an attack on our abilities or actions. When we think we are not doing a good job (even when we are), we will see others critiques or passing comments as more than they are meant to be. Having confidence, truly believing in ourselves, can be difficult for most of us as it requires faith, even when things aren't going as well as we hope.

Every day, we are confronted with problems and difficulties and failures. All of these have the ability to derail our confidence and cause us to wonder if we are moving in the right direction. Once we start to lose our confidence, we start to imagine this lack of confidence from others, too. Most of us work in an environment where we don't have someone helping to boost our confidence when we start to lose it. When the confidence levels drop, it is also hard to believe the people who are trying to help us bring it back to the level it should be. We are our own worst critics and have a hard time believing others think we are doing a good job when we don't see it.

We have to push through the dips in confidence, fix what needs to be fixed and keep pushing towards our goals. No one goes through life without doubting their work or their abilities, but the great ones keep pushing and trying to do better when they start to lose confidence. We have to be able to give ourselves credit and trust we have it in us to do great work. We have to be honest and see when we are not doing our best work and challenge ourselves to do better. At the same time, we have to see when we are doing everything we can and have confidence in it. This isn't always easy to do, but the more we work on it, the better we will get. We have to keep pushing and doing the best we can. We have to believe in ourselves if we ever hope to see how much others believe in us.

Endurance

Moving from good to great isn't usually about talent or who you know or what you do (though these can all help), it is about endurance. It is about putting in the work when it becomes difficult or monotonous or terrifying. You can have all the talent in the world, but without the ability to push through, to find your second (or third or fourth) wind, you will not be able to move to the next level. Are you willing to put in the work?

It takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master something. This could be a sport or a musical instrument or writing or surgery or anything else you can think of. To reach greatness, you have to put in a lot of time and a lot of work. Much of this work may require you to toil in obscurity. You have to be able to get up each morning and force yourself to do whatever it is you need to do to become great. You need the motivation to continue to practice when no one is looking. You need the motivation to practice, no matter what is happening in your life. You have to put in the work, even if the people around you think you are nuts. You have to ignore the naysayers and do what needs to be done.

Most people do not have the endurance to do this. This endurance requires confidence, drive, love and determination. Moving from good to great requires you to put in the work, but putting in the work does not always mean you will move from good to great. This is why many people choose to quit. If there isn't a reachable goal, they tend to pull up and move to something else. For other people, the putting in the work, the practice, the difficulty are the the goal. They want to be great, but they know they may not get there. They love the hard work and have the hope of getting better and better, but know they will never be perfect. For them, the journey is more important than the destination. This gives them the endurance to continue on, in spite of the difficulty, the criticism, the doubt. Do you have the endurance for the chance at greatness? Or, would you rather play it safe?

Decisions

No matter what decision you make about anything, there are going to be people who agree with you and people who will not agree with you. A lot of the people on both sides can be ignored, but the difficulty comes when a person who disagrees with you is one who's opinion you value. In these situations, we have to remember their thoughts on the decision are colored by their perception and their goals. They may have good points, but the points may not apply to you or the circumstances surrounding the decision. Ultimately, every decision we make has to be the best one for us, even when we take in to account other people.

This is the interesting thing about us; we all perceive the world in our own ways and every decision will be a personal one, no matter how much it may appear to be similar to other people's decisions. We can all think about what we would do in someone else's shoes, but we can never truly imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes. We are different and therefore have a different way of looking at things. Remember this whenever you feel like changing your mind because of someone else or when you feel like a loved one is making a huge mistake. We all do things for our own reasons...it really doesn't matter if you wouldn't do the same. Make decisions based on what you think and feel. You can take into account the thoughts and beliefs of others, but you are the person responsible for you. If the decision is right for you, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  

A Collection

During this weekend of mass consumerism, here is a collection of organizations and companies people should know more about and support:

These are just a few of the companies and organizations I love. Click on each picture to learn a little more about who they and and what they do. What are some of your favorites?

Giving Thanks Part 2

What would happen if we, as a world society, expressed our gratitude every day instead of at random times selected by the calendar? Would there be more peace and less war? Would people be able to get along a little better, no matter their race, religion, color or nationality? Would we be more willing to work together to solve some of the major problems plaguing the world? Would we be more likely to care about HIV epidemics in Africa or starving children throughout the world or the homeless in our own cities and towns? Would the world be any different? Would you be any different?

Giving Thanks

On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for all the people and animals who have made such an amazing impact on my life and helped me to become the person I am today. I am thankful for the people toiling every day to make this world a better place. I am thankful for the dreamers, the teachers, the nonconformists, the change makers and everyone else who inspire us to be bigger and better than we ever thought possible.

I am thankful I am able to share this day with people I love. I would not be the man I am today without the help and support of my family. I am thankful to an amazing woman who has decided to share her insight, love and passion with me on a daily basis. I am thankful for more than I could ever put in to words and more people than I could ever mention (though I hope you all know who you are). Thank you all for what you do, seen and unseen, to help push us towards a better tomorrow!

Dreams

This tree really has nothing to do with this post, I just like it.

We all dream. We all have dreams. Our most important dreams are those we have when we are awake. These are the things we are supposed do. We are meant to chase our dreams and if we try hard enough, we just might catch them. Once we do, we are lucky enough to be able to dream again and come up with something new to chase.

The worst thing we could ever do is ignore these dreams. We may never feel the time is right to start chasing them. We may have too many responsibilities or too many bills or too many people relying on us. We may feel as if we owe our company or our boss for the job we have or feel it would be selfish to quit. We may be afraid of failing. We have probably become really too good at convincing ourselves we still have time and we can start tomorrow, which becomes the following day or the following month or the following year. We are amazing at coming up with excuses. While we may never feel the time is right, the time you choose, right now, is the right time to start chasing your dreams.

We dream for a reason. Our emotions and heart and intuition know what we want to do, what we should be doing, how we can bring the most good in to the world. Because we have become so good at ignoring these, we dream. It's the best way for the emotion and heart and intuition to be heard. Listen to them and start chasing.