Stress and Frustration

Most of us walk though life with so much stress and frustration bottled up that we suffer from it. We are stressed about work and relationships and money and feel frustrated things aren't going the way we want or we aren't doing what we think we should or we just can't seem to get ahead. These are all normal feelings and we aren't alone with these stressors or frustrations. But, we have to find ways to let go of these feelings; we have to find positive outlets to help get rid of them.

Some people use exercise. Some use writing. Some meditate. Some practice yoga. It doesn't matter what you do, you just need to find whatever works for you. Life is too short to carry around all this negative energy bottled up, just waiting to explode. We have to let it go. If we find a release, we will realize most of the frustration and stress are caused by things that shouldn't cause is so much frustration or stress. We will realize things happen every day and the less we let them bother us, the better off we will be.

Start today. The great thing about having the release is you will notice the little things will stop bothering you so much. With less negativity on board, it's easier to ignore the little things; it's easier to focus on big pictures; it's easier to go through life being a little happier and more peaceful. When you don't have a release, the opposite is true. Little things add up and we become frustrated over things we shouldn't. We lose it over things which normally we wouldn't. We all have a way to release the negative, we just have to find what works best. What works for me won't necessarily work for you. Try it...find your release and see how much easier it becomes to not bottle up negativity. Think about how much better your life would be if you weren't carrying the weight of all of these negative emotions with you through each day. Think about how much happier you can be if the little things didn't bother you so much.

What do you do to release and let go of negativity?

I Believe That We Will Win

As I was thinking about what to write this morning, my mind kept going to the match this afternoon. I can't wait to get to LIVESTRONG Sporting Park and cheer on Sporting KC as they place for the Eastern Conference Championship and a spot in the MLS CUP!

Having grown up playing soccer, I love how Kansas City has embraced this team. We have the best stadium in the country, great owners and a team the community can be proud of. No matter what happens this afternoon or two weeks from now, I am excited for the future of soccer in Kansas City.

A Relaxing Evening

Spent a wonderful evening last night at The Living Room in Kansas City listening to the musical stylings of Victor & Penny and Danielle Ate The Sandwich. The venue was great, the music amazing and fun was had by all. If you haven't heard of either, check them out below. All in all, it was a wonderful evening with a wonderful woman.







While we rush through this thing called life and are constantly stressed out by everything happening, sometimes the most important thing we can do is slow down, relax, laugh and just have fun. This was the perfect release for what has been a crazy week.

Creativity

Knowledge is power. The more information we have, the better decisions we make. When we continue to learn and expand our knowledge base, the better we will be in any job we can find. We have the ability to think of new things, to come up with new ideas and to do things in a better way than they have ever been done. Right now, our education system is failing students. We are rarely taught how to think and we are not encouraged to dream, imagine or be creative. Students are trained to memorize facts, to regurgitate them on demand and forget them when they are no longer needed. We are not helping the youth prepare for life outside school and in fact, we are killing their creativity.




While knowledge is power, creativity is the fuel making everything run. Creativity is what leads to great ideas and builds the foundations of great businesses and great innovations. Creativity is what helps us become better. Without creative thinking, we are stuck doing the same things, utilizing the same products and living a life filled with monotony. Creativity develops and fosters greatness and our schools are killing the creativity in the youth of today. Our education system has to change. We need dreamers to drive innovation. We need people who can imagine different ways to do things. We need to find a way to foster creativity in schools and give students the knowledge and the tools to impact the world. Creativity fuels knowledge.    

Ideas

No matter what you do, the most important thing you can create are ideas. Everyone has an idea at some point; most people have multiple ideas on any given day; some have multiple ideas at any given moment. We build businesses on ideas; we make dramatic changes based on ideas; we can change the world with a single idea. Unfortunately, most of us are very hesitant to share our ideas.

We hesitate because we are unsure how others will respond. We hesitate because we know others will fight against our ideas. We hesitate because we are afraid of the ensuing discussion about our ideas. We hesitate because we are afraid others will think the idea is stupid or ridiculous. We hesitate because we want others to figure things out. We hesitate because we are scared. We hesitate because our ideas may fail. We hesitate because others may expect us to have more ideas.

For all these reasons and many more, we fail to share our ideas with the world. We keep them to ourselves and forget most of them because we don't pursue them. We choose to remain quiet and never find out if the idea would work. These ideas, this driving force for change, are kept quiet and are never uttered. They are never discussed and never have the opportunity to evolve in to something great.

Is it possible to develop an environment where everyone is comfortable sharing their ideas? I believe we can, but part of the onus is on the individual. We have to become comfortable sharing ideas that might fail. We have to become comfortable with our ideas being discussed and critiqued. The discussion and critique are important because these can take good ideas and change them to great ideas. We have to be comfortable knowing all of our ideas will not be put in to practice. We have to be comfortable continuing to share new ideas, no matter what happens with the last ones we shared.

Not all of our ideas will be great, many may even be bad ideas. Sharing them is the most important thing we can do with them, though. Even bad ideas can lead other people to think in a different way and can help create great ideas. We are only going to push ourselves, our businesses and our world forward if we can figure out how to be comfortable sharing any of our ideas. Ideas are the fuel for change. A single, simple idea could dramatically alter the future. Shouldn't this idea be shared?

Explore. Dream. Discover.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

—	Mark Twain

The older I get, the more this quote resonates with me. I look around at all I have and all I have done and wonder. I wonder if I am doing the things I should be doing. I wonder if the life I have found is the one I truly want. I wonder if the path I am following is the right path or if I should take one of the many branches along the way.

I have done many different things in my life. While I haven't always let fear hold me back, I know there are times I have. I have moved back and forth from the Midwest to the East Coast a number of times; I have quit soul-numbing jobs without having a real plan and landed on my feet; I have spent some time in law school; I have spent time combining some passions with work. But, I still feel I should have done and should be doing more.

When we look back on our lives, will we be satisfied with what we have accomplished and the things we own. Will we be happy we spent so much time working jobs to pay the mortgage, to buy the things we think we want, to live the life others think we should live? Or, will we be disappointed we didn't do more learning or traveling or relaxing or conversing or helping others? What can we change today to help drive us towards throwing off the bowlines?

Many of us confuse being stable with being happy. For some people, these are one in the same. In my world, stability is a good thing, but it doesn't set my soul on fire. It doesn't drive my passions and it doesn't allow exploration, dreaming or discovering. Is it possible to have both? Maybe, but I don't think so. To really explore, dream and discover, you have to take risks. You have to push boundaries, constantly search and question. You have to leave the safety of stability, get out of your comfort zones and see where the winds take you. Do something new. Take a chance. Figure it out as you go.      

Great

Will you become great by following the same business plan, offering the same services and just trying to find a few things to do better than your competition (while they will also find a few things to do better than you)?

Or, will you become great by turning the business model on its head, taking risks and coming up with a new way to do what you do?

Most of us will choose the first option, even though it rarely leads to greatness. The brave among us will choose the second. There is a lot more risk here, it may not work out and will probably take more time and effort. Plus, it may not work. No one ever said becoming great is easy.

Lead or Manage

Leader---A leader moves forward, showing others the way. They don't take charge; others follow because they have faith the leader knows where they should go. This is a big picture person, they see things others don't or can't see. A leader is not afraid to take risks and chances because they know this is the only way to continue to move forward. They may motivate and encourage others, but their main goal is movement towards their desired outcome. The day to day operations don't matter as much to them as long as these activities aren't holding them back.

Manager---A manager focuses on the day to day activities and makes sure the people are doing what they should. Managers schedule and grade and are more concerned with what is happening now. Good managers will also coach and motivate, but see this as a way to get the work of today done in a better way. Managers focus on making sure things are running as smoothly as possible and will often be the ones tapped to make tweaks and changes to the operations in hopes to improve them. People don't follow managers, but in many cases, will respect them as the authority in their day to day interactions.

In almost all situations, it isn't possible to be both a leader and a manger at the same time. Yes, both of these positions are important, but they take different mindsets to accomplish. Great companies have both, but the world is full of managers, while leaders are much more scarce. All of us are capable of doing either...both take work, but leading is much more difficult than managing. Leading takes more time, a lot more courage and the ability to focus on where we should go. The world needs more leaders...where do you want to take us?

If It Isn't Broken...Break It!

Many of us have found a nice, comfortable rut and continue to do things the way we always have, as long as it works. We might be doing good work or almost great work, but we aren't innovating or challenging ourselves to be better. Most people will think this is okay...they live with the belief "if it isn't broken, don't worry about it."

Unless you are doing perfect work (and none of us are), I say break everything and figure out better ways to do them. When you are stuck in the rut of something is working, you begin to lose sight of the competitors who are innovating, who are trying new things and who will soon be doing much better work than you. Greatness comes from pushing the boundaries, from trying something new and from taking chances. Don't get stuck in any ruts...forge your own path and strive to always do things better. 

I first paid attention to the quote which became the title of this post during Mark Shayler's Do Lecture, "Why we need to design better things, not design better". Grab a cup of coffee and watch it:

Today

So many of us are constantly caught up in planning for the future, we forget to live in the now. We worry about things which may or may not happen (and usually don't happen). We wonder what tomorrow or next year or five years from now is going to bring. We worry we won't find a mate or be able to afford a house or find a job. We worry about anything and everything we can imagine happening to us or not happening to us at a later date.

While we are worrying, we forget to enjoy the moments we have now. There is no promise of tomorrow, any number of things could happen to cause tomorrow to never come. Yes, it is improbable, but not impossible. This doesn't mean we shouldn't plan for the future, for retirement, for children's educations. We can do these things without worrying about tomorrow. We can do these things and still live in the moment, embracing the now. Plan for the future, just don't worry so damn much about it.

Right now is what really matters. The people, places and events in life today. What you do today is what makes the future worthwhile. Breathe it in. Feel. Love. Play. Today matters more than any other day, both in the past and the future, because you have control of today. You control what is going to happen (not completely, but at least partially). You get to choose who you spend time with, what you are going to do and where you are going. Live in the moment and embrace it. Truly enjoy your life and stop worrying about how the future will look. Instead, shape your future by living and loving the moments today.

What's The Best That Could Happen?

My dad has embraced Tumblr and posts more than just about anyone else I know. I enjoy following his posts as many are interesting and every now and again, he posts something directed at me. It's an unique and easy way for my dad to give me (and my sisters) advice on life. The latest one was this:

This advice was directed to my sister (who is in her last year of college and has no idea what she wants to do) and me (who is long past college and still has no idea what he wants to do). This is something we should all be taught in school...something all kids should learn. Unfortunately, this is something usually forgotten or not discussed. We spend so much time focused on learning (or usually memorizing, regurgitating and then forgetting) what's in the books or what's going to be on the test that we never really learn how to listen to our heart and intuition.

We live in a society where the most important aspiration anyone can have is being the best. In the media, when they aren't sensationalizing the negative aspects of life, they focus on the rich and famous. In history class, we learn about people who changed the world for the better. We rarely look at their motivations or how they became the central figures they are today; instead we learn how they changed the world with their actions. There is always a disconnect as these are figures from the past, often times dead, who lived in a time we have difficulty relating to. Often, we don't hear about the people making a difference today (unless they are super-wealthy). We aren't taught about the Blake Mycoskie's or the Yvon Chouinard's of the world who follow their heat and inspiration to make money and try to make a difference in the world today. There are many, many other examples out there (Holstee, Liga Masiva, etc.) and most people today, especially the youth, have never heard of them.

As we get older and have more and more bills to pay, it becomes more and more difficult to follow your heart and intuition. There is a gaping void of uncertainty and many of us are afraid to take the leap and face the fear to do what makes us truly happy. With any decision, we always ask "what's the worst that could happen." We picture failing, losing the house, losing a spouse, not being able to provide for the kids...basically, we fear losing our way of life. The flip side (and the side we fail to imagine) is we find something we truly enjoy, something fulfilling and motivating and awe inspiring. We never ask, "what's the best that could happen."

Should we continue to be stressed by punching in and out at a soul numbing job, just to make sure we can keep paying the bills, all the while becoming more and more unhappy? Or should we take the risk of following our heart and intuition and work our asses off to get to the best that could happen?

Choose Your Path

Many people are afraid to step out of their comfort zones and do something alien to them. This fear holds us back from becoming the person we see ourselves being and want to become (I have allowed this fear to hold me back throughout my life). We must learn to recognize this fear, acknowledge it and then ignore it. Our best opportunities for growth come when we are uncomfortable, when we aren't sure of the outcome, when we are doing things we wouldn't normally be doing.

Sounds easy, huh? We all know it is not. Throughout our lives, we have been trained to fit in, to be a part of the crowd, to do what we are good at, to know our limitations and to follow the rules. Our education systems never pushed us to be different. We have been taught everyone has a place in the world and if you take this career aptitude test, it will show you where you fit. After high school, most of you should go to college. Those of you who don't have the grades to go to college, don't worry, we always need people to pick up our trash and serve us food. From an early age, we are labeled as gifted or average or below average and these labels tend to stick. These labels become limiting...the below average and the average start to believe they have no chance at becoming gifted, so why should they try?

I say forget about the labels. They do nothing but hold people back. Take a look at your life and what you want to do and where you want your future to go. Once you see this, start to figure out how to get there, but don't spend too much time trying to figure this out before you start moving. Find your path and start down it. Many of us will change our paths throughout our lives. Right now, we might imagine where we will be in five years, but there will be many other paths branching off the one we choose. If you want to take the fork, do it. Don't worry about changing you mind or following a different path, go where you think you should. Don't let the fear conquer you here, either.

Look inside yourself and figure out where your greatest fulfillment will be and go. Don't worry about the labels or fitting in or what society will think. Some of the greatest minds were labeled as below average or average or troublemakers or outcasts. Do something different. Do what is going to make you happy. Do what you love. Do what you think you may love. The goal is to start moving forward, to constantly move forward and to never stop. Don't let fear of the unknown hold you back.

It's Going To Be A Good Day

I just read an interesting quote as I scrolled through Twitter: “Every day is a good day.” A simple thought, yet so very deep and worth taking a look at. If we choose to believe every day is a good day, how will it change our feelings and perception as we go through the day? Often times, when one thing goes wrong in the morning, we start with the mindset "it is going to be a bad day." By thinking and believing this, we are more likely to focus on the negatives during the day and we make it a bad day.

Instead, what happens if we see the one bad thing happening and remind ourselves things happen, but it is going to be a good day? Is it possible to train our brains to focus on the good things instead of the bad? I believe we can. If we accept the negative things that happen (running late, dead battery in the car, missing keys, missing cell phone) as just things that happen and instead stick with the mantra “it is going to be a good day” we can start to focus on the positive happenings.

Yes, we are all going to have things go wrong. Some days, it seems many things go wrong. By focusing on these things, we are more likely to view the next thing going wrong as a bigger deal than it actually is. We work ourselves into a frenzy of negativity and then can’t seem to get out of it unless something extraordinarily good happens. Being in a negative mindset to start the day only allows us to continue the negative outlook and this harms our emotional, psychological and physical health. We  continue the “bad day” by overreacting to situations, eating poorly and letting every little thing bother us way more than it should. We throw up our hands and wonder why the gods are against us. No one is against us and we can choose to have good or bad days. 

When things go wrong, it is even more important to focus on the good. When we start down the spiral of thinking today is going to be a bad day, we have to manually adjust our outlook and focus on finding the good around us. It could be as small as hearing a song we love on the commute or the morning coffee being especially good. We can see the nice things people are doing around us. Maybe someone holds the door for us or helps pick up the papers we drop or helps an old lady cross the street (this actually does still happen). If we look for them, we can see a lot of small good deeds happening around us all the time.

When we are being negative, the easiest thing we can do to help us get out of the funk is to thank the people who bring joy to our lives. We can also make sure to thank the people who help us in life or in work. It can be as easy as a quick e-mail thanking someone for the little thing they did to help or actually stopping by their office and telling them in person. By giving someone else a reason to feel good about themselves, we can start to climb out of the negative mood with which we have started the day. When we manually take a moment to thank those around us for the positives they bring to our lives, no matter how small a positive we think it is, we are forcing our mind to look for these positive aspects and focus on them. 

I know being negative is a crutch for many people, including me. I have often come across as cynical because I was in a bad mood. There are many, many things out of our control and we just have to roll with them. If we train our brains to focus on the positive aspects of each day and to ignore or downgrade the negative, we can start to live the happier lives we all want. It’s not ignoring our emotions or instincts; it’s all about retraining our minds to focus more on the good things. This isn’t going to always be easy and we aren’t always going to succeed, but the truly happy people we see around us have learned to be happy by working at it. We all want to be happy, but we have put in the work until it becomes automatic. It's going to be a good day. 

Customer Service

Stellar customer service is a necessity, especially working in animal welfare. If we are going to convince more and more people to adopt, we have to give them the best customer service possible. In Kansas City, there are numerous places people could go to find a new furry friend. From the big or the small to the private or the city run, it is hard to drive twenty miles in any direction without running in to one or two places directly competing for the same customers. The service given to customers drastically varies between these organizations.

Most people working in animal welfare are there to help save animals' lives. Many of these same people fail to see the direct connection between customer service and the number of animals saved. Shelters and rescues who have amazing customer service, who go above and beyond to help the customer, who have front line staff capable and willing to make decisions and who do whatever it takes to make the customer's experience memorable for the right reasons are the ones who adopt the most animals and can, in turn, take the most animals in and help save the most lives. These organizations build fans who will tell all their family, friends and strangers to adopt from the same organization.

Customer service is about the customer. It's not about rules or policies or telling staff what they should do in every situation. Obviously, this can not happen. Great customer service starts with giving staff the tools and the knowledge to make decisions, to come up with new ways to help and engage the customer, to speak with people with respect, to listen and to help the customer find exactly who/what they are looking for in a way that feels like a partnership and not a dictatorship. It starts with all staff and volunteers smiling and saying hello to the customers. If your place of business is not inviting, people won't come, no matter how big or beautiful it is. 

With the infinite number of places for people to shop/adopt/conduct business on-line and off, what are you doing to make your customer's feel valued? If you can't quickly answer this question, the time to start focusing is now. No matter your business, if you don't have customers, you can't do what you have set out to do. The animal welfare community has to start realizing there is a direct line between stellar customer service and more lives saved. We have to start acting like it, too.

 

Lists

I am not a list person, but I have started making some to help me focus. Today's list is comprised of the top 10 things I feel I need to focus on to become a better person and leader. This list will change over time (in fact it may change before the day is done) and I will update it as I need. My list may not be helpful for everyone, but I challenge you to make your own list to see if you can gain insight or find benefit for your life.

1) Wake up every morning and choose to be happy
2) Focus on what is going right, while fixing what is not
3) Mistakes happen; learn from them and move on
4) Don't dwell
5) Most of the time, people aren't out to get you. Don't act like they are
6) Push forward and always look for better ways
7) Acknowledge those who are helping; say thank you a lot (and mean it)
8) Confrontation is not always negative
9) Fear complacency, not failure
10) Embrace every challenge