Is This The Life I Want?

Do you ever ask yourself: "Is this the life I want?" How do you answer this question? If you are asking the question, then you are probably not doing everything you yearn to do. This doesn't necessarily mean you have to change everything; maybe you just need to add a little more to your already full plate. Maybe there are some tweaks needing to be made and these tweaks could lead to a lot more happiness.

Usually when I ask myself this question, I have changed some major things in my life. I have moved across the country and quit jobs without a plan and ended relationships and quit drinking. Rarely do I ask myself this question and then adjust minor things. I always assumed it was the major things which didn't allow me to follow my heart and do all the things I want to do. Sometimes this is true, but I have started to realize sometimes, I don't have to quit my job or move across the country, but I just need to create a little more, I need to give a little more, I need to travel a little (or a lot) more.

Many of the things we want to do with life can be accomplished by changing the little things. I could travel more if I stopped eating out for lunch and instead started saving this money. I could create a little more if I just blocked it in to my schedule or stopped watching TV (which has actually opened up a lot of time for me). I could give a little more if I just schedule times when I am going to volunteer. Most of us say we want to be happy, but we have no idea what this means or what we need to do to get there.

Instead of asking if this is the life you want, instead ask yourself what needs to happen to love the life you live. Really think about the answer. Come up with ideas or thoughts or dreams of what you want to do and what you think will make you happy. Then work to get them. Dreams only really matter if you work to make them a reality. Work hard to get them and then come up with new dreams. Continue to tweak and change things until you are able to find the life you love. This isn't going to be easy, but truly enjoying life is worth the effort. 

Want More or Give More

How would the world be different if everyone had a place to sleep, a roof over their head, money in their pocket and were able to read? What great things could people bring in to this world if they weren't spending their entire day trying to survive? We will all continue to worry about things going on in our lives, but this can hopefully bring a little perspective to those worries. For most of us, whatever happens, good or bad, it will not be the end of the world. For many other people, it could be.

Instead of always wanting more, maybe we should give more.

Things to remember

1) Stop comparing yourself to other people. We all have unique experiences and different passions. Live your passion.
2) Look for the good in every interaction, no matter how difficult.
3) Don't be afraid to live the life you want to live, no matter what other people think.
4) Strive to learn something new each day.
5) Learn from, but don't dwell on, the past.
6) Strive to make the world a better place, even for just one other person.
7) Don't be afraid to make yourself happy.
8) Laugh as often as possible. Life doesn't have to be so serious.
9) No one is "normal". Embrace your weirdness.
10) Love freely
11) Fail with grace and gusto
12) Be yourself

Do things the long, hard, stupid way

This is another great Do Lecture everyone should watch. If you haven't checked out the Do Lectures yet, please do so. In each and every one, you will find something that speaks to you. We can learn a lot from the people around us and the internet allows the number of people to expand exponentially.

Based on the title of this lecture, I was pleasantly surprised at the direction it took. Sit back and enjoy!

Decisions

On our path through life, sometimes things become hard. We aren't sure what we are supposed to do next and we aren't sure if the effort is going to be worth it. I have seen this numerous times throughout my life and I have made different decisions each time. Sometimes I quit and find something else to do and sometimes I battle through everything thrown at me to see what is on the other side. I wish there was a magical equation we could use to decide if the effort is worth the outcome but their really isn't one.

Whether to stay the course or to leave it is a personal decision and one each of us have to make on our own. We can seek input from others, we can look to our friends and mentors to see what they would do, but we have to remember every experience is different for every person. We are unique and as such, our struggles our unique as well. Every decision we make is a personal one; we need not be afraid of what others think of our decision.

When we look back, we have the ability to see the decision and the outcome, so we will often wish we had done something differently. When I look back at dropping out of law school, I sometimes wish I would have continued on this path and became a lawyer. I think about the good things I could have done with the degree and wonder what I would be doing now. But, I would not have landed in animal welfare, I would not have met my wonderful fiancée and I would not have started to share my life with some of the amazing animals I now do. Things would have been completely different and I have no way of knowing if this path would be better or worse than the one I am currently following. There is no way to know what our life would be like if we made other choices, so there is no reason to look back and wish we had done something differently.

No matter the quandary and no matter the decision made, our lives will change because of them. We can not even hope to see the magnitude of change caused by any of our decisions, the lives we will touch or the things we will do. We just have to make the best decision for us in the moment we are making it. The key words in the last sentence are "best decision for us" as this is all we really have to go on. Yes, all of our decisions affect others, but we can never really see all the ways this may be true. Be open, be true to your spirit, think about what you are doing and what you want to do, then make the decision. Listen for the little voice of passion and follow your heart. It will lead you to where you want to be.

Winter

As I sit here on a cold November morning, I can't help but think of winter and snow. Yes, like most other people, I often complain about the cold temperatures, the hazardous driving conditions and the ice that always comes with a Missouri winter. But, I also think about why winter brings happiness to my household.

Dinners of soups or chili or stews, reading a book in front of a roaring fire, the warmth and comfort of my bed on a cold morning, the muffled existence caused by an overnight snow, watching my St. Bernard run around with glee in a blanket of white, nights spent playing board games or cards with the woman I love, snow angels, hot apple cider and tea and everything else winter brings in to my life. Winter is a time of closeness.

Everything occurring around us can be seen as good or bad, it all depends on the perception we wish to take and how we are going to allow ourselves to think about each occurrence. We can choose to see the good or the bad, but it is our choice. We can complain about the things we have no control over or we can choose to see the good. Start looking for the good and see if your life, your frustrations, your patience or your outlook changes. Make today beautiful.

Gratitude

During November, I have noticed a lot of Facebook status updates of people giving thanks for things in their life. Each day, they post a new status expressing their gratitude. While some may find this to be a little cheesy, it is a very effective way to put your mind in to a place where you notice the good around you.

In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor argues this is one of the best ways to get stuck in a "Positive Tetris Effect" and bring happiness to our lives. Every day, write down three good things that happened to you in the last 24 hours. These can be small or large things, but the goal is to take five minutes each day to write down just three things for which you are grateful. By doing this, you become more adept at noticing the good happening in your life. When you focus on the good, the negatives don't seem to matter as much.

What would happen in the word if everyone started focusing on the good, started noticing the things which bring happiness and started to pay less attention to the things which bring negative thoughts and frustrations to our lives? Would we be able to do more, create more, make more lasting change? If nothing else, wouldn't the chance to be a little happier and help to make those around you a little happier bring positive change? What if we all made the decision to express our gratitude, not only on Facebook, but face to face with the people we want to thank?

Start out by setting five minutes aside each morning or evening and write down three good things that happened to you each and every day. As you begin doing this, you will see areas in your life where you can express gratitude to the people who bring you happiness. It's simple, takes very little time and could improve your outlook, your mood and your work. It may be a little difficult for some of you at first, but if you keep on writing, it will become habit. Are you really too busy to give up five minutes each day? Try it and feel free to let me know how it works. 

Be Great

Many of us are dreamers and thinkers and visionaries, but we get stuck when it is time to do. We aren't sure the best course of action or we think we need a full plan or we just hold back when we have the opportunity. I know I have done this more often than I would like. Dreaming, thinking or envisioning a better world, a better job or even a better day is great, but without actually doing something, none of it really matters.

We have to do something. When we look around and notice great people, it isn't because they had great thoughts or ideas, it is because they put these thoughts and ideas in to action. They realized they didn't always need to know the best course of action or have a plan, they just started doing. They took their idea or thought and ran with it. They didn't hold back; they released their gifts to the world. Things might work out or they might fail. The great people realize that either way, they will have more thoughts and ideas to work on later. When we start doing, we free our mind to come up with more (and sometimes better) ideas.  Everyone can come up with an amazing idea, it's the truly great who actually do something with it.

Fear

I have written a lot about fear in my previous posts, but I haven't really addressed it directly. We often let fear control our decisions and sometimes don't even realize it. It takes thought and reflection to understand the fear we feel. Many of us are not comfortable examining the roots of our fear or trying to figure out which fear is the real fear controlling us. For me, when faced with a decision, I always wonder which fear is driving what I want to do. Am I looking to leave a job because I don't think I am good enough or smart enough to do it and I want to get away before other people realize this? Or, am I looking to leave because I know the job I am doing is not the one I want to do?

It can be very difficult to figure out which fear is actually the motivator. We have to delve in to the fear, fight with it and figure out which is real and which is not. There may be aspects of both or many in any decision we make, but most of us are hesitant to do this introspection as we aren't sure what we are going to find when we start. We spend so much time being afraid that we don't really make many choices. We look for ways to keep busy or indifferent, be it watching too much TV, going out all the time or as it was in my case, drinking.

We hide from fear. We aren't ever sure when it is going to pop up and we don't want to spend our time examining it or figuring out what it is keeping us from doing. Instead, we try to ignore it and by doing so, we are inactive. We don't make meaningful choices; we don't figure out what to do next; we don't do anything of consequence. We have to learn how to examine our fear and then use it to our advantage. This isn't something we are ever taught in school and can be very difficult to learn. Most of us will continue to struggle with this for the rest of our lives, but as long as we are aware of the fear, we will work to make choices because of what we want and not due to the fear.

This isn't going to be easy and we are going to learn a lot about who we are (and some of it may not be great). Acknowledging and examining the fear will help to make our lives better because we will start making decisions that matter. We will start to figure out what we want to do. We will know what the fear has been keeping us from doing and we won't let it hold us back. We will still feel the fear, but it will no longer have a strong hold over who we are. We will be in control and we will be able to accomplish more than we ever have.

Where O Where Have The Days Gone

I sit here on a Sunday evening in mid-November, 2011, and wonder where the days have gone. It feels like only yesterday I was graduating college and the world was full of possibilities. I look back at how much I let fear keep me from chasing my dreams. I just floated through life, working many jobs that did not require a college degree to pay the massive and asinine debt I amassed while in college (and shortly after college). I drank too much, cared what others thought too much and convinced myself the dreams others had for my life were also my dreams.

I have often convinced myself the dreams of others were the dreams I held. It's one of the reasons I bought a house, even though I enjoy moving around a lot. It's one of the reasons I quit writing and continued to work a variety of low wage, entry level jobs which required absolutely no passion. It's one of the reasons I chose not to use the networking I had done to interview with companies I would have enjoyed working for. It's one of the reasons I continued drinking long after I knew I should stop. I was in control of all of these decisions and I know it. I also know fear held me back from chasing my own dreams and following my own path.

Since opening my eyes and seeing what I was doing, the great things is I have control over my future. I get to decide what comes next in my life. If I want to make changes, then I get to make changes. If I don't make the change, then I have no one to blame but myself. It's different when I can see it clearly. Before, I could blame it on things not working out, the world being against me or it just not happening the way I wanted. This knowledge is invigorating and terrifying at the same time. While I can't snap my fingers and make things exactly how I want, I can put in the hard work and the time to get there.

I get to choose my path in life. While this may seem like a hugely daunting task, there will be numerous other paths to follow as well. I can change my mind and choose one of the others. This is the gift most people don't realize...we don't have to live the rest of our lives with the paths we have already chosen or the ones we choose now. Follow your dreams and if your dreams change, follow the new ones. Live the life you want to live...the only person stopping you is you.

Make the Choice

Most of us, from time to time, will pause and look at our life. We will examine what we do, who we are and dream of the future to come. We may wish things were different. We may be content with where we are. We look at the past and view events with a different lens than when we experienced them. We view the decisions we made with the gift of knowing where our life is and wonder what would be different if we had only made different choices. We will regret some things and we will celebrate others.

Dwelling on the decisions of the past does nothing to change the future. We control who we will become and the imprint we will leave on the people around us. We can't control the past, but we can alter the future by focusing on the moment. It sounds a bit philosophical, but wondering about the past and the choices made will do nothing other than make us forget about the moments we have now. Yes, we can think and we can celebrate the good, but there are choices now demanding out attention.

None truly know what the future holds, but the choices made now, the choices of today, shape tomorrow. Choose to do what makes you happy. Choose now to develop the skills you want for tomorrow. Shape your own dreams and chase what is going to make you feel alive. While we do all of these things, we can never forget to enjoy the moments we have today. These moments, today's choices, are already shaping tomorrow. Dream and plan and learn and build, but also live.

Forget about regret. Forget about what was. Forget about what could have been. We all have the wish of having done things differently, but none of us can change the past. We can start doing things differently now and guiding our life in the direction we want. We can become who we want to become, though the only way is to experience the life around us. To build the future we yearn for, we have to embrace life today. We don't want to look back and regret these moments. Make the choice to have experiences you will celebrate tomorrow.  

Be Yourself

Forget about who others think you should be and become the person you want to be. If we spend all our lives trying to please others, trying to fit into the mold other people think we should fit and working to be someone we are not, we will never be able to reach the goals we think are important. We all have the capacity to do amazing work, but we have to embrace our own uniqueness and do what moves us.

 We all have others we look up to and want to be like, but we will never be able to do the work they are doing. We have different passions and desires and thoughts and muses and will only be able to be the person we are. We can have mentors and heroes, but we are all different. We do things our own way and think in our own terms and dream in our own way. We will be able to do so much more when we embrace who we are, when we become comfortable with who we are and when we choose to use the talents we have to create good.

Be the best you possible. Don't try to be just like anyone else. Embrace your quirks. Figure out how to use your talents to do the things you want to do. We will never be able to do what we want until we become comfortable with who we are. This sounds very easy, but most people will tell you it is not. We all have doubts. We all have faults. We have to become adept at not listening to the doubt and acknowledging and improving the faults. No one has lived the same life, had the same experiences or have the same mix of passions. Utilize what makes you different to bring great works into the world.

The Holstee Manifesto: Lifecycle Video

Not only has Holstee shared an inspiring and beautiful manifesto with the world, but now they have made this video inspired by the manifesto and their love of biking.



I am constantly amazed and inspired by people doing great work. I think this video and manifesto says it all. Enjoy!

Keep Pushing

Because it's the way it has always been done. It's how everyone does it. This is how we have always raised money. This is what we do. These are all terrible reasons to do anything.

Think differently. Think bigger. Push boundaries. Try new things. Come up with new ideas. Be creative. Be different. Be daring. Be special.

If you aren't going to keep pushing, then you should pack up and go home. We need better than there was before. We need new ideas and new ways to do things. We need to strive for great, not good enough. You are never going to be the best of the best by doing what you have always done. You aren't going to be remembered for doing things the way everyone does them. Your crazy idea might just become industry norm in a couple of years. Keep thinking and pushing and changing until you come up with what you are looking for. Once there, start thinking and pushing and changing again.  

Believe in Yourself

Believe in yourself. This is an easy concept, but for many of us, this is a very difficult thing to do. We are our own harshest critics. We have self-doubt. We struggle wondering if we are good enough. We constantly wonder if we are doing the right thing.

Give yourself credit. If we want others to believe in us, we have to believe in ourselves. For most, the doubt we feel is an offshoot of our fear of failing. Guess what, we are all going to fail at some point. It's not nearly as bad as we think it will be. This doesn't mean we should go in to anything thinking we are going to fail. We just need to be comfortable knowing if we do fail, in the vast majority of situations, it isn't the end of the world. By eliminating this fear, we open ourselves up to having more belief in ourselves. It isn't if you fail, it's all about how you handle the failure when it happens.

If you want to create your art in the best possible ways, you have to believe in yourself. Be honest about your intentions and do the best work you are capable of doing. Ignore the fear and self-doubt. They have no place in our work. Once you start doing this, you will see believing in yourself isn't that difficult. Once you start believing in yourself, others will really start believing in you. The beliefs start feeding off each other. When others believe in you, you will start believing in yourself more. All you have to do is take the first step and give yourself some credit. After that, it will become easier and easier. We all have something special to offer...isn't about time we offer it to the world?